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Visitors:
A NOTE FROM PAM’S FAMILY: Pam died this morning at 5:15 am. Her sister Barb was with her, holding her hand for her final breaths. Thank you all for your kind and thoughtful words and deeds these past 18 months. Funeral arrangements can be found in the "OBITUARY" link at the top of this page. Love, Margie, Carl, Barb and Kat
ANOTHER NOTE FROM THE WEBMASTER: Pam’s morphine dosage has been increased, which is allowing her to sleep comfortably through her remaining moments in this world. She no longer shows recognition of or acknowledgment of the presence of visitors. Her family members have been by her side in shifts throughout these past few days and nights, so that she is never alone. We like to believe that she knows we are there, but it is hard to tell. Except for her continual labored breathing and brief moments when she opens her eyes to stare blankly, she does not move. We already miss her more than words can describe. Love, Kat
ANOTHER NOTE FROM THE WEBMASTER: Pam has made it through another day. She and we enjoy the flowers, cards and guest book entries that have been sent her way. God bless you all. Love, Kat
ANOTHER NOTE FROM THE WEBMASTER: Pam is not having as much pain now with her morphine drip, and is still able to take fluids. The doctors do not envision her leaving the hospital. Her sense of humor is still evident when she can speak, which is an effort for her. She is getting excellent care at Martha Jefferson Hospital. We will keep you informed. Love, Kat
ANOTHER NOTE FROM THE WEBMASTER: Our beloved Pam is sedated to keep her comfortable. She will not be putting in any more Journal entries. Her family, who is by her side for these final days/hours, thanks all of you who have written in her guest book, as your kind words have meant so much to Pam, and continue to mean so much to all of us. We will continue to read your entries to her to the end. Please continue to pray for her comfortable passing. Love, Kat
A NOTE FROM THE WEBMASTER: Pam had a procedure done late this afternoon to block her abdominal pain, and because of its timing, she is not able to put an entry into the Journal this evening. Stay tuned for an entry from Pam tomorrow. - Kat
It was another crummy day today. I guess based on tradition that's not so bad. Kat went home around lunchtime and made it home safely. I have two such excellent sisters! I hear there is going to be some sort of meteor shower tonight. It would be neat to be awake for it. Love, P.
I did not get to Church this morning. Instead Church came to me. Pastor Bill brought me communion and the Sunday School Class sent along get well cards for me. Kat came for a suprise visit, even though her husband told her that it was okay to turn around and head back home. She worries so much about me. I'm glad she's here. Love, P.
Mom promises to drive carefully going home from the hospital tonight. She had better drive extra carefully because of the rain. To have something happen to her would absolutely crush me. I love you all. Big hugs to everyone. Love, P.
Mom tells me that she slept pretty well last night. She really needed it. My Dad is here. Hip, hip, hooray! The news from the oncology department is bad. Yesterday I had a CT scan of my brain and of my abdomen. The reading shows multiple new metastatic lesions to the brain and throughout the liver. Surgery is now out of the question. They now anticipate me to live for only a short while longer. I have had such a wonderful summer. I've enjoyed the church, my family, friends, playing golf, and all those who prayed to give me such a wonderful summer. The plan is to give me as much comfort, including pain control, as they can. They believe the fevers have been related to the tumors and should get better with medication. I will probably be discharged from here in the next 2 to 3 days. Love, P.
I hit a high with my temperature tonight - 103.0. I'm weak as a kitten and have a poor memory. Mom took me to MJH ER where once again I had blood cultures, blood work, and X-rays. This time I'm sick enough to be admitted. My dad's coming tomorrow. I'll be spending the night here in the hospital tonight. After the number of times Mom has complained about having to get up every hour during the night, she's due for a great night's sleep tonight. Love, P.
I guess I haven't been real clear. Several people who read yesterday's Journal got the impression that I was doing much better. I didn't mean for anyone to think that eating 2 extra bites of food when I haven't been eating any was a big accomplishment. I'm still feeling miserable. Perhaps when Mom enters my dictation she has been adding some sort of a euphoric slant to whatever has been dictated. Love, P.
Still no appetite, but I ate a little more today than the day before. Maybe I'm getting rid of my extra Decadron pounds. Mom went on a major gadget purchase today. I now have a hospital bed, an into-tub-transfer-seat (which I have not yet tried). I have various straps, seatbelts, a raised toilet seat, etc. I'm sure she'll think of more gadgets for tomorrow. My Dad's dog has been doing worse and worse. She was in so much pain that he had the vet put her to sleep yesterday. I know how hard that is. There's a possibility of him coming down here this week. Love, P.
Another day come and gone. I tried on several ocasions to take a nap today and only slept about 10 minutes. If I were sleeping well through the night, that wouldn't be so bad; however, every hour I get the strong urge just to pee 6 drops into the toilet. Bedtime (until an hour from now). Love, P.
Another lousy day today. There was no way we were going to get to church. Only one fall today, but again it was nearly impossible to get up. Some friends from church dropped by to bring some cinnamon bread and between Mom and the two of them we got me back to bed. Thank goodness for them. Lynn and daughter #2 were here this afternoon. With my fevers going up and down, I couldn't even tell you what they did, but Mom siad they were a great help. I did have a good two hour nap later today. Lynn came back later with daughter #1. It's great that Lynn can and will help out whenever she can. Love, P.
I'm very tired so this one's going to be a short entry. I had a sitter over for a few hours today which gave Mom a chance to pick up my prescription and do some food shopping. Joan was quite content to watch Notre Dame and then UVA on TV. Today I completed my loading (extra doses) of Dilantin and did not vomit. Helen and Lew Post stopped by today on their way to Richmond to see if I needed anything "such as a pair of sweat pants". What a wonderful idea! I ordered two pairs which they delivered this evening. Warren Britts (the man who did the remodelling of both my upstairs and my basement) was here all day installing a custom built wheelchair ramp in my garage. Mom gave me a test run on it tonight. I guess I'd better be nicer to her or she may let go of the chair at the top and watch me crash! Love, P.
I continue to get weaker. My trip to Dr. Gorsch's office just to have some blood drawn completely wore me out. I continue to have fevers up and down and up and down. It is becoming more and more difficult for me to get into a standing position. I can only get around in a wheelchair. I can't get into the chair or out of the chair without help. My appetite has been non-existent. This evening was the most food I've had in three days. Between the brain lesion and my complete lack of appetite, you can knock me out of my wheelchair with a feather. Mom and I have been trying to gather up "gadgets" to make my life a bit easier. My sister Kat had sent us a battery operated doorbell to summon Mom when I need her in the middle of the night. To me, the bell is extremely loud, but my mom loves it. Kat also sent us a "Clapper" to turn on and off lights. Too bad I am unable to make a clapping noise. Today we bought a handsfree phone headset. My dream of becoming a McDonald's drive-thru order taker is getting closer to reality. "Would you like that Super Sized?" Aunt Janie and Uncle Fred and Aunt Mernie and Uncle Allan have been on a golf vacation in the northwestern part of VA. They all stopped by here for a brief visit and lunch on their way from there to NC. It was good to see them all again. Love, P.
Yet another long and tiring day today. My first appointment was at noon for another brain MRI. We were told to get there 15 minutes early because of "all the paper work". We arrived 25 minutes early and sat for less than two minutes while they did "all the paperwork". While waiting for my scan, I saw one of the nurses leave to get lunch. Sure enough, SHE was the one that did my scan 45 minutes later. Gee, I hope she enjoyed her lunch! After finally getting done and getting a copy of my films to take with me to my appointment, we were finally told good bye. We had about an hour to kill before my appointment. A brief lunch, and then we saw Dr. Shaffrey, the neurosurgeon. This time I think he actually did look at my films and will work with Dr. Gorsch to set up a time for surgery. This could be up to 6 weeks from now depending on my chemo counts. What would help me, is if all you Journal readers would pray that my white blood cell counts go down quickly and come back up just as quickly. Love, P.
Another rough day today. Actually, this rough day started at about 11 PM last night. I knew from previously that Mom and Dad cannot hear the cow bell when I ring it. I knew that it would possibly be a rough night in terms of bladder function, so I had my porta-pottie right beside the bed. This worked well the first time (which embarrassingly enough was only 30 minutes after I went to bed). The second time, however, was a fiasco. I got up to use the porta-pottie and fell, sprawling out across the floor, and wedging myself into the knee-hole section of a desk. I kicked over the pottie, smashed the trash can, and ended up wetting the floor. I became stuck, and could not get myself free. I began to scream at the top of my lungs for Mom to "HELP ME!!!" I screamed and screamed and screamed. I know that my Dad's dog was upstairs snickering because she could of course hear me, but she wasn't making a sound to wake them. After 40 minutes of time, and much struggling, I was able to crawl to the bedroom door and the door into the house from there. With those two doors open, I was able to yell for Mom and they heard me. I am now covered with bruises. We should have left Pennsylvania on Sunday. We drove down to Virginia today and decided that I would take a nice hot bath (in the downstairs tub) and have my legs shaved. Nice idea, however, there is no way for me to get inside my tub. We tried everything, and it ain't gonna happen. Mom decided that she would shave my legs while I was lying on my bed, to make them at least presentable. The hair on my legs was ready to be braided. I was so cold lying in the bed that I had Mom check my temperature again and it was another fever. I had been told that fever meant "go to the ER," but I had failed to do so. When the fever kept persisting I decided I had better go tonight. Of course, all of my labs were okay and it took about 4 hours, but at least I did not have to be admitted. Let's hope that tomorrow is a better day. Love, P.
Rough day today. Before supper I felt bone-cold. I turned on the heater, had a blanket and a sweatshirt, and was still cold. Dad suggested I probably had a fever, so Mom took my temperature. My temperature was 102.0 and I couldn't get warm. Stefan had suggested that I get to an ER with any fever greater than 101, but I'm leaving tomorrow and do not feel septic. Mom and I will leave a bit earlier than we had planned. My over-all status has really slipped the past few days with several falls. I'm sure the fevers have added to my weakness. I am now using the wheelchair to get around, and now that my fever has come down I feel a bit better. Why is it that they say that doctors make the worse patients? Oops, guess it's 'cause of me! Love, P.
It is Monday today. It took me just about two days to recover from my reunion. So, what is my next goal? Well, Thanksgiving, of course! I thought you guys would be all over that one. Today was a rather calm and restful day. I'm back to just one nap a day. The most exciting thing of the day was how hard I chomped into my left index finger which was holding my hamburger. Another brilliant aand coordinated effort by me. Love, P.
I know many of you have been waiting to hear about the reunion. Once we got there about an hour and a half later than planned, because of traffic and big city confusion, we found that we had missed the Happy Hour and they were doing an awards presentation. No one had been fed yet. There were about twenty people from my class there. It was nice catching up with everyone. No one was aware of my website address. I got to pass out Melanoma ribbons. We were finally fed and they started talking about us going up to the 33rd floor for more partying and dancing. I had taken my medication one and a half hours late by mistake and had another seizure about half an hour after that. It only lasted 4 minutes, but afterwards I was exhausted and Mom and I headed back to the motel. I slept OK after Mom found the "Off" switch to the heater that was making too much noise. I now feel more like myself after two naps today. Love, P.
Whew! It seems very early to be posting a Journal entry, but I wanted to get this in before I left my parents'. Now all you daily Journal readers will have to wait till tomorrow to see how the reunion went, or if it went at all. I don't really have to say much now. Tune in tomorrow for the latest. Love, P.
I got to see both my sisters today. Kat came while the boys were in school/daycare, and Barb came after work and joined us for dinner. I even had time for a nice nap between the two visits. Just about 24 hours now before my reunion starts. My fingers are still crossed. There were about 180 people in my class. I'm curious how many will show up. I will probably put tomorrow's entry in early so I can get it in before we leave. We will go several hours early and stay in the hotel until time for the reunion. That should give me time for a nap before the reunion. Love, P.
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