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Happy Halloween. I wonder if Tammy's boys got any Baby Ruth bars tonight. They know that they are my favorite type of candy. Barb called during my nap and has been invited to supper tomorrow night. There was some talk earlier about Kat bringing her family to see me, but no final plans were made. I will at least get to see Barb tomorrow. Maybe I'll see Kat on Sunday. Two days till my reunion. My fingers are still crossed. Love, P.
Mom and I decided to head to PA today. Poor Mom had to pack everything she could think of. I was not able to help her. I watched TV and told which shirts, etc. that I had to have. We made it up here without a problem. I really hope to go to my fifteen medical school reunion, which is Saturday. Now that I've printed that, something will go wrong and I probably won't get there. Oh, well. Love, P.
Today was a rough day. I felt queasy and tired and blah. I am happy to report that I took the last of my chemo today. So far no seizures or actual vomiting for a few days. Dr. Gorsch will be watching my WBC counts and will monitor when my next course of chemo will be (usually 28 days after the start of the first course). My white counts have been known to drop very low, very quickly, and don't necessarily come back up when they should. We shall see. Love, P.
Another day winding down. 4 doses of Temodar, 1 dose to go. No seizures since Saturday. I'm still "hanging in there". I'll soon be taking another dose of Benadryl, so I'll be really tired soon. I'm glad it was a "boring" day! Thanks for the stew, Sarah - it was great! Love, P.
So far, so good. Day 3 of chemo with no vomiting thus far. Maybe taking the Kytril to fight nausea is a good plan. The chemo is causing my skin to itch. On the instructions it says it is related to another chemo agent I got in the hospital a year ago. Problems with one medicine can give you similar problems with the other. I guess I now know that it was the D-TIC that caused severe itching last year. Mom told me today that if I don't feel good I should not tell people that I am "fine", but instead should tell them that I am "hanging in there". So, I'm hanging in there. Love, P.
My puking last night was every three to five minutes for over an hour. Why did I believe Stefan when he said that the nausea would be mild? I should have taken one of the expensive 24 hour anti-nausea pills, but I was so certain that Stefan meant what he said about "mild" that I thought I could save some money. When my stomach finally settled down just a little, I took the anti-nausea pill and prayed that I could keep it down for at least an hour. My prayers were answered. I had another seizure this morning. Again left sided, involving left hand to arm to face. This one was 6 minutes. So far none have been generalized (total body) so I've been awake and talking throughout. Will the anti-nausea pill work tonight? Whatever will tomorrow bring? Love, P.
Where do I start reporting about the last 24 hours? I took what may be my last upstairs bath. I got myself into bed, all snug and cozy. Just under 30 minutes later, I had another seizure. This seizure involved my LEFT hand and forearm. It lasted 7 minutes. I keep the upstairs dark. I tried to turn on the light and knocked it over. I knew that I should get some help to get back downstairs. My phone up there lights up briefly when you press "Talk", but not long enough to dial the numbers. After studying the phone through several "Talk" and "Hang-up" cycles, I managed to call Lou and Al. They came over, armed with flashlights, and rescued me. I had them move everything downstairs. Blood tests were done earlier in the day, to which I added a Dilantin and a Tegretol level this morning. The rest of the night was fine. I got a phone call from my mom this morning saying she would come down today instead of tomorrow. While waiting for her, I had some friends take me to the pharmacy in town to get my new chemo. The label said to take it either two hours after a meal or one hour before a meal. 4:00 PM sounded right to me. Mom arrived just after 5. She made a wonderful steak supper. It was quite delicious. Too bad that I vomited the whole meal up while writing this Journal entry! Good night. Love, P.
Today seemed a bit better. I still can't feel anything with my left hand and the right hand is a bit spastic, but I have more of a plan now. I saw Stefan today. For once, I did not tell him that I was "fine". I told him about my left hand and how quickly it was getting worse. He talked to me about trying a controversial chemotherapy. This is a pill-type medicine which I take at home for 5 days every month. There are lots of potential side effects especially involving fevers, nausea, and my white blood cells dropping to very low. It has worked well for people with tumor STARTING in the brain. For those of us with tumors from somewhere else which have gone to the brain, the data is not the greatest. About 1/3 get better, 1/3 stay the same, and 1/3 do worse. With my left hand deteriorating (remember that I am left-handed), we have decided to try the medicine. I will start it tomorrow. I had visits today from 2 friends. Both made me feel so much better! Love, P.
Thanks to Connie and JoAnn for calling to offer their help. It means so much to me. I will likely need more and more help as my disease progresses. I still want to be brave, but that is getting harder to do. It was much easier to act brave when I felt good. I think that Mom & I will head up to PA on Sunday or Monday. After Friday, my next appointment here isn't till 11/7. I know the P.T. team will miss me, but in PA I'll have family with me. Love, P.
I feel so much better today. My symptoms are the same, but there are a few people out there who read between the lines and could see that I NEED HELP! I was asked out to supper tonight, tomorrow, and Thursday, and Dad called to tell me that he is sending Mom back here on Saturday rather than the middle of next week. Thank you, God! Having only partial use of both hands has been wearing me down. I should be able to make it now. Love, P.
I had a very tiring day today. It took forever to wash last night's dishes. I also took a shower which wore me out. It is so frustrating to get even little chores done. I guess Mom spoiled me by helping me too much. I went to Therapy today before my nap, another mistake. One of these days, I'll get it together and feel stronger when these tasks come up. The idea of playing golf on Wednesday just isn't going to happen. Love, P.
Things went well today until I tried to make supper. I really thought that I could just whip up the sausage, broccoli, noodles and alfredo sauce. The alfredo sauce is already made and in a jar. Everything began to cook too fast. I could not open the alfredo jar. I was unable to get my little can opener up underneath the alfredo lid. The noodles were done. The broccoli was so overdone that it was squishy. I was unable to flip the sausage in the pan and still no alfredo sauce. What a crappy meal! That meal will have to wait until I'm stronger. Oh well, live and learn! I did some exercise today on my leg. I can see that the arm needs some, too. Love, P.
Another day which came and went with me doing nothing productive. My sofa is just so comfortable. It is hard for me to be peppy and active when I can just rest, watch college football, and nap. Tomorrow is Church. That should get me up and dressed and out of the house in the morning. I've been lazing around for two months - time for me to get busy! I will be better tomorrow. Love, P.
My mom headed out this morning after lots of hugs and kisses. This is the first I've been alone since mid-August. So far, so good. Lynn's mom (Connie) drove me to Physical Therapy this afternoon. When I got home, there was a supper invitation on my machine from Lynn. I always figure that the less eating I do at home, the less for me to clean up. How perfect. Nicholas has decided that he loves Auntie Pam. I was unable to nap today. I'm sure I'll be in bed early. Love, P.
I've been feeling better and better each day. Golf next week? Mom heads out in the morning. For once, I do not feel that I need someone sitting around "watching me". Tonight, I will sleep upstairs. While I'm alone, I may sleep down here, depending on how I'm feeling. It may be smarter to stay on this floor for a few days. I had all 45 scalp staples removed today. My hair really IS trying to grow back with a bit of a wave. Too bad I'm confusing things by having my left skull cut open twice - talk about cowlicks! Lynn's son turned 3 today. It amazes me how fast they grow! Love, P.
I had 12 hours of sleep, did a Physical Therapy work-out, and took a two hour nap. I may stay up a bit later to watch mindless TV (Forensic Files). The plan right now is to have Mom head home the day after tomorrow. It is amazing how much better I feel now! What the heck was I waiting for? I should have had the surgery weeks ago. Silly me! Why is it that "being brave" often means "being stupid"? I have a few more brain lesions on my scans - how about total brain replacement? Maybe that will do the trick. Love,P.
I was asked today whether or not I took my "upstairs bubble bath" two nights ago. Hmmmmm, here we are in the middle of a severe drought. Did I, or didn't I? I'll let you choose. Today, Mom and I went out for lunch. I was going stir-crazy at home and had to get out. We went to the Pro Shop to eat and then to the local pharmacy. I am so out of shape! Just walking around in the pharmacy made me 'need' a nap. Julia came by with some soup. I was feeling much better after a 2 hour nap, and went next door for a steak meal. I will start Physical Therapy again tomorrow. Love, P.
I walked up to the road today to get my paper. No cane, no assistant. Pretty cool, eh? I must try to stay as active as I can, while I can. Too bad I'm a worn-out lump of fat, TV watching flesh (burp). I know I don't have enough energy for more than one or two holes of golf, but I should be able to convince my mom to take me to the course. Let's see, 2 holes every 3 days or so would have me completing 18 holes eventually. We had a great supper at the Gardellas' house tonight (oink). Thanks Lynn and Bob! Love, P.
So, where is the rain we were supposed to have all day today? Why is it always so dry? Does this mean cold and more dry this winter? I hope not! Barb headed up North this morning and Mom and I went to Church. I guess that too many people are reading my Journal, because no one seemed surprised to see me there! Oh, well. It was nice to say and hear some prayers this morning. Barb stopped on her way home at a place that sells teddy bears. She called later to tell me that she was "lost" there for over 2 hours. Poor baby! It was so nice to have her here these past several days. My mom has been hinting that she MIGHT let me take a bath UPSTAIRS tonight. I hope so! Love, P.
Each day, I seem to get a little bit better. This afternoon, Barb, Mom, and I went to spend an hour at Octoberfest over at the Main Gate. I think people were happy and surprised to see me. We will try for Church in the morning. I will keep working on getting better. Barb reminded me that I missed Evie's birthday by one day - sorry, Evie - I hope it was happy! Love, P.
Surprise, surprise! I was discharged from the hospital this afternoon. My right arm and leg functions are improving dramatically. I ambulated in the hallway a few times, proving that I could walk with just a cane. With the initial stroke occuring 7 weeks ago, I would think that it will take awhile to resolve. So, will I be golfing by Wednesday? Love,P.
One day post-op. I was in the ICU overnight. In the ICU they torture you by waking you up every hour for neuro checks. They shine flashlights in your eyes, make you grab their hands, and move various body parts. I then got moved to a private room on the regular floor. I believe they were in some kind of a hurry, for they whipped me out of the ICU before I could even blink. My own nurse was working hard at getting the proper bed to transport me in, and while his back was turned, two other nurses whisked me away. Transport time was shortly after I had been given Tegritol which is the culprit in many of my dizzy spells. We had figured out a way around that by using the extended release form of the tablets, but I was handed three of the regular kind of tablet. I really didn't think it was going to make that much of a difference, but I was wrong. The whole hospital looks as if it's jumping up and down with its vertical hold broken (nystagmus). Mom, Barb, and Lynn came to visit me and watch me nap. Love, P.
I'm awake and alive! I survived my surgery. Thank you for all your prayers. Other than the fact that I was drugged out the wahzoo and can hardly speak, I feel some improvement in my right arm. To early to tell yet, but huge improvement from this morning. What do you think my chances for church are this Sunday? Love, P.
I'm putting an early Journal entry in today. My tests for tonight are at 6:00 PM, and I have no idea how long it will take. When I get home, I suspect I'll be going straight to bed. Surgery starts late on Wednesday. I'm either the second or third case and one of the cases ahead of me is predicted to go long. We shall see what tomorrow brings. Love, P.
Mom and I had several hours of testing this morning. We were smart enough to have lunch at a restaurant after that. You know I've gotta keep that good food going in. I really feel that my surgery cannot come too soon. I don't know how much of that is nerves and how much is my frustration. Each day it gets harder and harder for me to walk. Is that because Mom pampers me, or am I really getting worse? Love, P.
The clock is ticking. It feels as though every minute takes an hour. I just have to make it through till Wednesday. Then I can take a nice long nap and Dr. Shaffrey will fix my brain. I still feel that it was almost easier when my thoughts were addled. I have no idea at this point what time my surgery is scheduled. I hope it's early so I can get it over with. Love, P.
I feel as though I'm in the 'Park' mode waiting for my surgery. It seems like each day is taking forever. Of course, by the day of surgery, I won't be calm, cool, and collected anymore. Mom arrived around lunch time. Kat stayed a short while longer and decided that she wasn't really hungry so she headed on home. I had better stop traumatizing my two nephews by dragging her down here for visits without them! Love, P.
The Physician's Assistant called me today to give me the plan. On Monday, I will spend at least 3 hours getting a History & Physical Exam and a more specialized brain scan. On Tuesday, I will have testing as to which part of the brain is the best to go into. My surgery is scheduled for sometime on Wednesday. I won't get admitted until Wednesday, but depending on the timing of the surgery, it could be very, very early. It is nice to know that my brain is working a lot better than this past March. Here's hoping for a smooth weekend. It is of course nerve-wracking to have to wait several days before getting surgery. Since I was a total goof-ball prior to my last surgery, I had no problem waiting then. Kat and I went to the Lakeview Room for prime rib tonight. Once again it was awesome. I figure that I had better eat as much good food as I can before entering the Hospital (oink, oink). Love, P.
Darn near was late for my Neurosurgeon's appointment because the line at McDonald's was quite long. You know I have to have my lunch before anything else. The appointment was at 1:00PM and did not start until almost 2:00PM. Still much better than last time, where I waited for over an hour and a half to even get into the room, then waited about 45 minutes more. It was a good thing that I took time for McDonald's! Dr. Shaffrey is booked five weeks ahead, but knows that I'm going to need surgery soon. He has his Physician's Assistant working on juggling the schedule. I suspect that I will be scheduled for the middle of next week to go under the knife. My symptoms have gotten a lot worse and shouldn't wait too much longer. Compared to the last time I had surgery, this seems like a piece of cake. I've been able to concentrate quite a bit more and have much less confusion than last time. My sister showed me one of my Journal entries from March where I sound like a clueless idiot. Reading it now is funny but it scared the crap out of my sister then. She told me that it took forever to put that Journal entry in and I was unable to listen to her urgings to try to come up with an entry which made sense. Love, P.
I had an MRI today. The Radiologist was in Administrative meetings today, and since my appointment is scheduled for 1:00PM tomorrow with the Neurosurgeon from UVA, I will wait until then. I did, however, look at the screen and the scan looks much worse than it did 6 weeks ago. My memory does not seem to cooperate as well over the last week. It is time for surgery. The Neurosurgeon will talk to me tomorrow regarding the timing. It is too bad that this week is almost over, and we have the pressure of the upcoming weekend. Love, P.
All sorts of adventures happened today! My right-sided weakness has been gradually getting worse. The decision to only have surgery one more time was my own decision, and can certainly be changed. With only mild weakness, I felt that I could handle my symptoms. As I have gotten weaker on my right side, I think it's time for surgery. In the meantime, Tammy's grandmother fell today and broke her elbow, shoulder, and pelvis. Between me setting up doctor's appointments and Tammy tracking down her relatives, we have been on the phone non-stop. Tammy's sister (who lives across the street from grandma) is away this week as well. I believe that Tammy's aunt is going to be with her. Kat should be here tomorrow night. Tammy knows that if she has to leave early, I'll find somebody. So my plan now is MRI scan tomorrow and Neurosurgery appointment Thursday. Surgery will be pending. Love, P.
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