8/31/2002

My medicine is wearing off now, so I'm practically running around the house without my cane. I know better than to skip any pills - soon I'll be hobbling around again. I liked my cousin Dick's guestbook entry today - what a great score for "my" round of golf! I'm feeling quite well now. Who would guess that I have cancer? Let's hope that I get back to "boring" again! Love, P.

8/30/2002

I did fairly well today. The morning portion was worse with nausea and more unsteadiness, but I did pretty well by the evening. In all, I rate the day at 75%. I got busy on my book. I am now up to October of 2001, with 51 pages written so far. I'll begin October in the morning. No further seizures and no pain thus far. Stefan must not have heard from the Neurosurgeon, because he didn't call me today. I should hear on Tuesday (I keep forgetting that Monday is a holiday). Love, P.

8/29/2002

I feel tons better today. I still feel a bit queasy when I bend over or move my head too much. No seizures since the one at Pat's office a few days ago. My drug levels are where they should be now. The neurosurgeon has not gotten back to Stefan yet as to surgery or not, but I think I will hold off until I have more seizures or new symptoms. I should know whether they even can DO surgery by Monday at the latest. I convinced Dr. Shipley to discharge me this evening. Hooray! Mom is not going to let me go upstairs to my room until my dizziness goes away. She has my computer set up on the first floor on a card table. I guess I will adjust. Love, P.

8/28/2002

Greetings from Room 712! Last night I got a large dose of both Dilantin & Tegretol. This was just before bedtime. I slept fairly well, but when I woke up to use the bathroom, I was unable to stand up without almost falling. The side-effect of particularly Dilantin is that it causes unsteadiness on the feet (ataxia). That was one of the reasons that Dr. Shipley wanted to have it given in the hospital. Up until late afternoon I was unable to even move my head without feeling sick or getting sick. I'm feeling much better now. Pat (Shipley) had meant for Stefan to take care of me but he never got the message. He called after 7:00pm and went over some information with me. There is still a chance of brain surgery, however, we may hold off and just treat the seizures for now. I certainly do not want frequent and repetitive surgeries. I was given a name of a specialist at Sloan-Kettering who is said to be "the best" in melanoma. Stefan will contact her but believes that immune therapy (her forte) will not help brain lesions. With my unsteadiness getting better all the time, I may decide to hold off on surgery (if it is even offered) until I get more sick. Probable discharge tomorrow. Love, P.

8/27/2002

Here I sit in the ER, waiting for my bed upstairs to be ready. I had mentioned to Mom as we were driving to my Neurology appointment that perhaps I should have notified my doctors about the stroke. While talking to Dr. Shipley, I DID have a seizure, which she witnessed. Based on my story and the absence of a scan done here last week, she sent me to get a new scan and sees a bleed in the left parietal region. She decided to admit me rather than chance it. I have dictated this to my sister to put in the Journal. Much more information tomorrow. Love, P.

8/26/2002

I'm still feeling good. No change in my symptoms. I seem to be walking a bit better on flat ground, and the cane is helping me go up and down steps. I think I have figured out that I have to lift my right leg a bit higher to clear the toes. Mom was a trooper today. She cleaned my upstairs while I worked on my book. I'm on page 39 now, in chapter 5. I'm having fun rereading the Journal entries from a year ago. The guestbook entries are so wonderful - they give me strength. You have all been so positive! Love, P.

8/25/2002

Pastor Bill and his family treated Mom & me to brunch after our service. I think he knows I've had a disappointing week and he is trying to get on my good side before he leaves the country till the end of September. Gee, I wonder what it's like to be sort-of retired? Mom is staying down here till after I see my neurologist (Pat Shipley) on Tuesday and Stefan on Wednesday. That way, if either comes up with a plan requiring hospitalization (for brain surgery or whatever), she won't need to come right back down. I wanted to work on my book today but didn't get to it. I had to watch Tiger LOSE again -ha ha! I WILL work on it tomorrow. No change on the stroke symptoms, but again, no worse. Love, P.

8/24/2002

Mom and I had great plans for getting down here today. I noticed on my drive up that 3 different towns along my usual route were having fairs this weekend. I knew traffic would be rough. I talked Mom into going down I-81, which takes about 30 minutes more but moves pretty quickly. We did fine for awhile and then hit bumper to bumper traffic for 8 miles because of an overturned tractor-trailer. We could have sat through all 3 fairs and still gotten home earlier! Joan met us for another prime rib meal this evening. Mom & I then went to Ma & Pops' for dessert and Mom got to meet the Salvas, whom I stayed with in Boca Raton last December. Ma used to be a Physical Therapist and began giving me 'cane-walking' instructions. I mostly need the cane when I go up or down steps. Maybe tomorrow I'll be back to normal. Love, P.

8/23/2002

Add today to the list of "interesting" days. I woke up at 5:30 AM to use the bathroom, and found that I had a stroke or mini-stroke during the night. I can move all my body parts, but there is decreased sensation of my right leg, and less so, the right arm. When I sit and have my feet on the ground, I feel normal. When I try to lift my right leg, it doesn't really feel that it is part of my body. It sort of feels heavy. I still have sensation and motion, but not as good as my left side. All day today it has stayed like that. Mom took me into town to get a cane. It may resolve as my new pills kick in, or it may get worse. Thank God that it doesn't hurt. Lobster night was great. We all met at the Country Club and pigged out (lobstered out?). Due to the Decadron (increased appetite), I even had dessert. I guess my weight should be the least of my worries! Love, P.

8/22/2002

Today was weird. I started this morning with a right-sided facial seizure which only lasted 20 seconds. I continued to feel poorly off and on all day, with a funny feeling around my right eye whenever I was feeling bad, though no witnessed seizures. The "bad feeling" would last from a few minutes to a few hours at a time. I was so worn out from it that I took a nap, which I haven't been able to do for months. I was able to track down Stefan at home, and he called in a prescripton for Tegretol (another anti-seizure pill), which I started this afternoon. I made appointments with my Neurologist and Stefan for next week. It wasn't till nearly 5 PM when the funny eye feeling went away. Mom & I should be heading down to Virginia on Saturday (I can't miss lobster night tomorrow!). Love, P.

8/21/2002

What a long and frustrating day! Arghhh! Mom and I loaded ourselves into the car at ten after 3 this morning, and I had another seizure. I told Mom to just get me to Pittsburgh for my scan, even if the seizure became a generalized one. It only lasted 5 minutes and did not generalize. We headed West. It is 4 hours to get there without traffic. I registered for my scan right away and got my Mediport accessed. They didn't start my scan till almost 9. It was done in a mobile unit which they drive in a few days a week, not the regular machine. It was only a tech and I. She had heard I was a doctor, and let me click on the computer screen to get a quick look when it was done. As far as I could tell, it is much worse than the 6/27 scan. After lunch, we went to see Dr. A, who was an hour late and didn't seem to have any time for me. The films had not even been read by the radiologist, but Dr. A did not think the films were any different from June. He said he needed more information and wants me to get another body scan (even though I had the perfect PET scan result in May) and see a neurologist. He said he might start me on a pill form of chemo which can help with brain tumors, but only if the radiologist feels there is a good amount of swelling. The whole visit seemed to be a big waste of time. It seems that no one out there has the time to guide me through all of this. To make matters worse, I had persistant hiccups 4 times today, lasting up to an hour each time. What a day! We left at 2:30 to drive home. Poor Mom is whipped. Love, P.

8/20/2002

My first phone call today was from Pittsburgh. I am scheduled for brain MRI at 8:10 AM and then to see Dr. Agarwala as his first patient after lunch. I called several hotels in the area and they are all booked. I asked one hotel employee why everyone was booked and was told that school was starting and all the parents were in town. We could drive part-way today, but decided to just leave around 3 AM. (Mom and Dad are about 4 hours from Pittsburgh and we will have rush hour traffic into the city) I called a few friends and was reminded that with the swelling around the bleed/tumor, I should be on Decadron (the steroid) again. Groan - I gained 30 pounds on that while I was in Australia on Decadron and have only lost 12! I had forgotten to discuss Decadron with the ER doctor yesterday. Dad drove us up (we had lunch at the Country Club first) to get my CT scan from yesterday and to get a prescription. I am now on the weight-gaining pill AGAIN. So, what will Dr. A say tomorrow? Will I get a new anti-seizure medicine? Will I have more brain surgery? Will I get more Gamma Knife? Ah the questions that arise along the path of melanoma. . . stay tuned! Love, P.

8/19/2002

Yesterday, I drove straight from church to PA to surprise my family. Dad was the only one who knew. He sneaked out and got corn, mushrooms, etc. and had them here for the steak supper he had planned. I caught them eating hard-shelled crabs, which they shared with me. We decided to hold off on the steak till tonight. My main reason for coming up here was to show up at Kat's project today to help. Mom (who babysits on Mondays) and I drove up in separate cars. I went to Kat's house and really surprised her. We dropped my car off at the project and went to Home Depot to get lumber. We unloaded the truck and started building a wall! Cool project. I got to measure and hold things. At lunch time, I got the keys to head to the cheese steak sub shop. I then started to have a seizure. The seizure was my first since the one at Ayers Rock the end of January. Bummer! No more driving again for at least 6 months. Again it was a partial motor seizure, only involving my right side. This time, it started in my right shoulder and went to my head. I called Kat downstairs and she sat and talked with me, both of us praying that it would not become a generalized (whole body with loss of consciousness). After a few minutes, I told her to call for an ambulance. This seizure lasted about 6-7 minutes, but was by far the worst one I have had. The local ER did a CT scan of my head, and checked my anti-seizure drug level. CT scans are nothing like MRI scans and are mainly looking for blood. There is some blood, near the area where I had surgery in March. Stefan (my VA oncologist) is on vacation this week and the Neurologist in Charlottesville was afraid to advise me. The oncologist in Pittsburgh will see me on Wednesday. It may just be something easy, like starting a new anti-seizure pill, or it may require more surgery. I'm back at Mom & Dad's now and have had my steak dinner. Early bed for me tonight (seizures make you very fatigued). I'll keep you all posted. Love, P.

8/18/2002

I got to church this morning, and was told that I was the first reader rather than the second reader. I was lucky that neither reading was very long, and there were no odd names in my reading. I made it through. They later asked if I'd do it again and I told them that I'd rather not. Let's see how long that gets me off the hook! Hooray - someone other than Tiger won a major. Yeah for Rich Beem. Love, P.

8/17/2002

Another good day to stay indoors. It is so darn hot! I did clean my kitchen, I read a book, and I watched the golf. More importantly, I used the elliptical machine. Joan, Marilyn, and I went to the clubhouse for prime rib tonight. What a great meal! I'm assigned to be a "reader" in church tomorrow. Yikes. I hate to read aloud. I hope I don't screw-up. Love, P.

8/16/2002

I drove into Richmond to have lunch with Ann and her nearly 3 year old. I got the meal at Ukrops and took it over. Joseph ate for awhile and then watched a video until he fell asleep. Ann and I caught up on news and played 500 Rummy. I won. I haven't seen any evidence that Phil Mickelson is doing anything in the tournament. I didn't see his name on the first few screens of the leader board. Tiger still isn't winning, but I doubt if Fred Funk can hold the lead. Oh, what drama! Love, P.

8/15/2002

Well, it rained twice today - once for one minute, the other time for 3 minutes. Too hot again to do anything. I did work on my book for awhile, but got bored with it. The PGA Championship Tournament is on this weekend. Now that Tiger can't win 'the Grand Slam' (he didn't win the British Open) I can root for Phil Mickelson. I had watched a long portion of the first round but the same commercials over and over again drove me crazy. Much luck to Laura, who had a lumpectomy today. If you decide to start a "laurafightscancer.com" site, remember that Kat had the idea first! Love, P.

8/14/2002

A friend and I went to visit another friend who moved out of Lake Monticello to a farm. It was nice to see her, but was practically too hot to even go anywhere today. I've been yawning all afternoon. I'm thinking that an early bedtime would be a good idea. I really must work on my book soon, but I'm too tired to be very creative. I was supposed to play golf tomorrow. Instead, I'll stay home and work on the book then. I'm still waiting for our "possible thundershowers". Why do we never get any rain?? Love, P.

8/13/2002

Too hot for golf today! I was up near the 7th green and I started to feel bad. I thought I was going to have a seizure. For a minute, I thought that I could finish 9 holes, but soon I realized that I would be asking for trouble if I continued. I told the other ladies that I wasn't feeling well and was going to sit out. I stayed in the cart in the shade until we got to the club house. I sat inside and rested and had lunch. I had someone drive me home. Thank goodness I did not have another seizure. If I had to go another 6 months without driving, I'd go crazy! Happy Birthday, Glenn! Is Marcia's birthday today or tomorrow? Either way, Happy Birthday to Marcia, too. Love, P.

8/12/2002

I had a meeting today with the guy who is helping me to get new health insurance. It wasn't like I had a bunch of choices - I can get Trigon (Blue Cross/Blue Shield PPO) or Golden Rule. My Nationwide is cancelled on October 1. They don't want to insure anyone for health, so it's not just me. I chose Trigon, because they are more likely to be accepted in Pittsburgh. The premium is much more expensive, but still cheaper than what my sister with the two kids pays. I had lunch out and then came home to work on writing my book. I'm up to page 32. It is slowly becoming a book. I'm actually proud of myself! Love, P.

8/11/2002

I must confess that I did very little today. I read the paper, went to Church, had lunch, started a book, watched the race (Tony won), watched golf (Tiger won), had supper, finished the book, watched brainless TV, and came up here for bed. I'm tempted to stay up and watch "The Dead Zone". The ads make it look good. I could always go downstairs and set the VCR to record it, but that would require me to reset the clock, find a tape, etc. Did I tell you that my health insurance is being cancelled starting October 1st? I have a meeting tomorrow with an insurance broker to go over my options. Groan. This is going to cost me! Love, P.

8/10/2002

I took my New Zealand original painting in to a frame shop to get framed. I went out for lunch. I thought about going into town to a movie, but decided to stay home and work on my book instead. I'll be starting Chapter 4 tomorrow. It is fun being able to drive wherever I want! I watched golf this afternoon. My neighbors fed me steak for supper and gave me leftovers. I even used the exercise machine today. Love, P.

8/9/2002

I had today's Journal entry all typed up and it disconnected. Now I have to remember what I said. Grrrr. The weather was beautiful today. I played poor golf, but did get another birdie. I went to the Movers and Shakers party tonight. People are telling me that my Journal is getting dull and drab again. Tammy told me that my Journal was getting boring just a few hours before I had the seizure in January. Please try to remember that BORING IS GOOD! Love, P.

8/8/2002

I took Rebecca, Rachel, and Rebecca's friend Katie to see 'Spy Kids 2'. They enjoyed it. I think it gave their mom a break as well. Lynn did hesitate a bit when I told the kids I would take them out. She still has visions of me having a seizure while I'm driving. Gee, you just have a couple of seizures and you are then marked for life! Golf tomorrow and then I have a "Movers and Shakers" party. Love, P.

8/7/2002

I had the chance to sleep in today. It felt great! It was cool enough this morning to have my coffee on the screened-in porch. I've been trying to write a book about my cancer experiences. I call it "pamfightscancer.com". I worked on it for several hours this afternoon. I'm on chapter 3. So far, so good. I had supper with Lynn and then stopped by Missy's on my way home. We had a good talk and a beer or two. It is way past my bedtime now. Love, P.

8/6/2002

Finally we got a break in the weather. It was actually pleasant to play golf today! I even had a birdie. (Of course, I also had two 12's, a 14, and a 10.) I drove to the grocery store. I drove to Lynn's house for popcorn. I went next door for supper and for some practice bridge hands. It is so great to be driving again. I no longer care what kind of car I have. Ahhh!! Love, P.

8/5/2002

I'm back down in Virginia. It is so cool to be driving again! I really missed it. I spent some time reading another Kinsey Milhone private eye story rather than do anything outside. I hear that the temperature and humidity will both drop tomorrow (in time for golf). I've been gone almost 10 days and I only had one phone message and a dinky pile of mail. Either I'm not very popular, or everyone reads the Journal and knows where I am. Let's hope it's the latter! Love, P.

8/4/2002

I head back to Virginia in the morning. We had the family here for hard-shell crabs for Mom's birthday. My first crabs of the year (I think). Now that I write in this Journal everyday, I have to worry about someone reading back and finding out that I had crabs already this year! Love, P.

8/3/2002

Another very hot day today. Mom and I had planned to play golf, but it was too darn hot! I was lazy and worked on the book I've been reading. I then figured I'd at least see where my sister was. She was at the project and said she was lonely without me. I headed up there, brought her lunch, and then did some baseboard staining, some wall paper removal, and took apart some panelling in the kitchen. Dad took Mom and me out for supper at the West Shore Country Club - prime rib tonight! I did skip dessert. Love, P.

8/2/2002

Ah! I finished the slave detail today. Tomorrow is Kat & Bob's wedding anniversary so Barb agreed to babysit for them tonight. I was supposed to go up and keep her company, but the kids wore me out before that. Tomorrow is also my Mom's birthday. I think she's going to be 39 again. I'm now older than my mom. We had a thunderstorm that came through this evening and didn't even rain enough to cover the deck. The wind blew so hard that it cracked a huge limb off the elm tree by the water. About an hour later, another storm came from the other direction and dumped a fair amount of rain on us. I hope it is raining at Lake Monticello! Love, P.

8/1/2002

My muscles are a tiny bit less sore today. I did second coats of primer in the closets. At quitting time, I drove up north to see Mrs. Smith. She had invited me for supper. I can't believe that she is 77 and her husband is 80! She let me wash all the paint off up there and change into clean clothes. We had chicken, corn, macaroni salad, and baked beans. Yummy! On my way back (in the dark), they have closed off the road to home tonight rather than next week as the signs say. I wound through some real back-country roads to get to my parents! Okay, okay - I messed up the name of the movie yesterday - I guess it was "The Bone Collector", not "The Bonecutter". I agree with my 'first cousin once-removed', Katherine, that the love interest scene at the end was dumb. Love, P.