11/30/01

I now know WHY I've only driven through Florida once. What a looooooong drive! Sandy & Rich have a lovely home, and we just finished a delicious supper. My parents (both real and proxy type) will be glad to know that I am minding my manners (thus far) and helped to do the dishes after supper. Rich got me a ticket to the Miami v. Denver game on Sunday. I've never been to a pro game - this will be great! My day started early with a surprise breakfast at 6AM for one of my Sumter friends who turns 40 tomorrow. Happy Birthday, Fran! I was on the road by 7, and didn't think I'd ever get here. There were cops everywhere and lots of road construction. At least gas is less than a dollar a gallon. Shopping is on the agenda for tomorrow. Football Sunday, golf Monday. Perfect! Love, P.

11/29/01

My drive to Tammy's went smoothly. There was very little traffic the whole way down. I'm looking at a 9-10 hour drive tomorrow to Florida. My family drove to Key West when I was three. Other than that, I have flown to Florida each time. Since I can't remember the trip 37 years ago, it will be like driving into new territory. I'm counting on Rich to take me golfing and Sandy to take me shopping. Of course, doing neither and just lounging by the pool would be nice, too. Love, P.

11/28/01

Groan! I ate too much at tonight's Lutheran Women's potluck supper, but SOMEONE had to finish the chocolate cake! I leave in the morning for the SC/FLA/GA trip, and I haven't started to pack. I guess I'll be up late tonight. My bags of leaves are gone today, off to their new home as farm mulch. I can't say that I'll miss them. Love, P.

11/27/01

I had to go to the clinic today to have my Mediport flushed (they inject a medication into the reservoir under my skin to prevent it from clotting, so it can be used instead of an IV). It gave me a chance to stop by the ER to say "Hi" and to get hugs. The ER staff really acts as though they miss me. Funny when 6 months ago they would cringe when my name was on the schedule. Okay, so I get a bit upset when things are taking too long or if things aren't going smoothly (especially on PMS Days). If and when I ever go back to work, we will see how long it is before they are no longer happy to have me. . . Lynn wants me to pass along a "Holiday Decorating Tip". Since she has fed me both supper last night (my ploy worked!) AND breakfast this morning, it is the least I can do. The tip is: Betty Crocker Easy-Flow Decorating Icing. There, I have passed the tip along. Of course, I cannot benefit from the use of this tip myself, because no cookie dough ever makes it into the oven at my house. And, no, raw dough does NOT cause worms, though one could get Salmonella from the uncooked egg. I'll take my chances. Love, P.

11/26/01

I went to Richmond today for lunch with a friend. I even managed to get in and out of Richmond without stopping at Target or Kohl's. Lynn's daughter Rebecca broke her wrist while roller-blading yesterday. She wants me to sign her cast. If I play my cards right, I can probably finesse a dinner invitation too. Love, P.

11/25/01

I had a very enjoyable afternoon and evening with Carolyn and her daughter Casey. We saw Harry Potter, had dinner at my favorite Chinese restaurant, and then went to Dairy Queen to get Blizzards for dessert. Carolyn has never read any of the books, and though she liked the movie, I don't think she appreciated it as much as we did. Of course, I might get myself in trouble if I don't say that I had an enjoyable morning as well - in church. Now that Thanksgiving is officially over, I'll have to start concentrating on Christmas. Amazing how fast the time goes. Love, P.

11/24/01

Back in Virginia. What is that strange sound I hear? Could it be raining? It's been a month without rain. We sure need it. Monsters, Inc. was cute. I want to know how Boo was able to use the bathroom while wearing her monster disguise. My sister wants to know how she draws so well at such a young age. I'm going to see Harry Potter tomorrow. I wonder what my critique will be for that one. I already think that Harry's hair is too neat. Maybe I should be a movie reviewer! I read one review of Harry Potter where the reviewer felt that Harry's "internal motivation" was different in the movie than in the book. Whatever! I can make up dumb phases, too. I'd be great at it. Now all I need is for free tickets and popcorn so I can start my new career. Love, P.

11/23/01

I met with Barb today so we could plan our January trip to New Zealand and Australia. We then drove up to Kat's to see the boys one more time before I head back to Virginia. Mom & Dad are having steak for supper and then Mom & I plan to see Monsters, Inc. David (3) tells me that it is "very scary". I think I'll be okay. Love, P.

11/22/01

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I have much to be thankful for this year. First of all, this is the first Thanksgiving in 4 years that I didn't have to work! But of course, more seriously, when I got the diagnosis of Stage IV melanoma back in June, there was a big chance of being dead by now. Instead, here I am, alive and kicking. I must say that I am not kicking really high after PACKING turkey and the trimmings into my body. The turkey was not the only thing stuffed today! I urge all of you to seriously reflect on your blessings - the gift of life, the love of family, the beauty of nature. Amen. Love, P.

11/21/01

Traffic was very heavy today, but I made it up to my parents without incident. Mom was baking an apple pie for tomorrow and the house smells so good that she'd better hide the pie or there won't be any for Thanksgiving! She & I are going to York this evening to see the Lipizzaner stallions perform. I had been to one of the shows many years ago and thought it was pretty incredible. I had my truck in for new tires, and when I went to pick it up this morning, the battery was dead. What a smart truck to wait until it was already at the shop to alert me to the fact that the battery was 6 years old! May everyone arrive at their holiday destinations safely! Love, P.

11/20/01

I received a phone call this afternoon from Lynn's oldest daughter. "Auntie Pam, my mommy is making popcorn. Do you want to come?" I was out the door like a rocket, because Lynn makes the best popcorn ever. She sustained me through medical school when we were roommates. Popcorn led to a dinner invitation, etc. I've been gone for hours. My mom just called and told me to turn on the TNT channel. They are showing the "Grand Slam of Golf" from the Poipu Bay course in Hawaii where I was and played two rounds a few years ago. Tiger Woods, David Toms, Retief Goosen, and David Duval seem to be playing the course a bit better than I did, but I did just see Duval hit one into the water hazard. I don't recall being in that water hazard - then again, it could be selective memory loss. Love, P.

11/19/01

Freddie's service this morning was very nice. She left strict instructions that no one was to be sad. I saw lots of people (me included) with tissues wiping eyes and noses. I guess we didn't follow her instructions very well. I went wigless and hat-less in all my "fellow chemo patient" splendor. Joan & I did more leaves today. Still no end in sight. I'm going to dinner & a movie in town tonight with Kathy, the great chef from the Saturday before last. Don't worry, Casey - I'm saving Harry Potter for you on 11/25! Love, P.

11/18/01

I set my alarm for 5AM this morning to get up to see the meteorite shower. When the alarm went off, I was too snug in my bed and didn't get up. I heard in church that it was too overcast to see anything, so I didn't miss it. Julia came over today to help with leaves. There are still tons to go, but the yard is looking better. I'll have to hire someone to clean my gutters, because I don't want to go up on the roof. I read the obituary today of one of the Ladies 18-hole golfers. She has been fighting breast cancer for a long time. Her house is directly across the Lake from mine, and she always would tease me about her having a telescope trained on my house so that I'd watch my step. She was a wonderful person and a great golfer. I will attend her service tomorrow. People worry about anthrax, but cancer is such a horrible disease. We will miss you, Freddie! Love, P.

11/17/01

It is hard to write in the Journal every day. Not much goes on in my life when I'm between treatments. I did my 6 bags of leaves today and three loads of laundry. Ho hum. Maybe I have writer's block, but I can't think of anything more to say. Love, P.

11/16/01

I should have given up on golf a few days ago when I was playing better. I must have peaked and I'm on the downhill slide. But, it was so nice out today that I kept playing rather than face the fact that I'm getting worse instead of better. I don't think I'll play again until I get to Florida at the end of the month. While I was out whacking the little white ball around, millions of leaves mysteriously ended up in bags by the road for pick-up by the organic farmer! Wow! Thank you! Proof positive that Lake Monticello is the best place to live. Love, P.

11/15/01

Today Joan & I drove to the course outside Richmond where one of the assistant pros from here had left us for. He was very kind to us, though his course was not kind. I did not play well. Joan will probably say in the guest book that she won, but her handicap is 5 strokes lower than mine and she shot 5 strokes less than me, meaning we tied. Besides, she cheated. I can't believe that just one week before Thanksgiving, it reached 70 degrees. They say tomorrow will be even nicer. Maria is bringing her kids and Lynn's kids over here tomorrow morning to bag leaves (by 'kids' I mean the people kind, not the Pygmy goat kind). Anyone who wants to join them, feel free to come over. As for me, I have a tee time at 10:34 and won't be able to help. Bummer! Love, P.

11/14/01

I got my flu shot today. I do not want to get sick this winter. My arm is stiff from the shot, and I think I can use it as an excuse for my golf for at least the next few days. Joan "had a meeting" today, so she didn't play the back 9. I think her "meeting" was fictitious, since, once again, I was beating her on the front. After she left, I did poorly. I think I need to play golf with her because it brings out my competitive juices and I play better. It was slow on the course today. There was a frost delay and some slow groups in front of us. Of course, because of slow play, it breaks my heart to tell you that I didn't have time to rake leaves. Shucks. Hey, Will, can I borrow some Pygmy goats? Love, P.

11/13/01

I didn't get my 6 bags of leaves done today. I went horseback riding on a trail ride in the mountains, then I went into Charlottesville to do errands. It gets dark so darn early, that by the time I got home, it was too late to do leaves. For those of you who are concerned about the environmental impact of my leaf project, we have an organic farmer in the area who picks up bagged leaves at no charge and uses them to mulch his farm. I may not have time to do leaves tomorrow, Thursday, or Friday either, because I'll be golfing. Of course, I may not even be able to walk tomorrow - it has been a LONG time since I've been on a horse, and you use muscles that are formless fat-blobs in my case. Love, P.

11/12/01

My friend Jim left this afternoon. He did help me move some firewood, and we took a walk (which is healthy), but he did not show any interest in helping me remove leaves from my yard. After he left, I bagged 6 bags. It doesn't even make a dent in it. I am going to be sore and stiff tomorrow. I really have not been very active for the past 5 months. Riding around in a golf cart must not build muscle tone, even if I do have to hit the ball over 100 times. If I slowly chip away at the leaves, even if it is only 6 bags a day, I will gain on it. Maybe I can talk Lynn into coming over with her 'work crew' (her kids and Maria's kids) some day this week. Of course, that would cut into my golf - I have tee times for Wednesday, Thursday, & Friday. Maybe Jim is right after all - the leaves look 'natural' and can act as mulch! Love, P.

11/11/01

I did pretty well today at golf. I shot a 102 and whomped Joan soundly. If I wouldn't have screwed up the 7th hole and the 18th, I would have broken 100. My friend Jim from college and med school is here for a visit. We went out for dinner and then to Dairy Queen for dessert. I could really start to like Reese's peanut butter cup Blizzards (they are even better than the Baby Ruth Blizzards). I hope to start working on raking up leaves tomorrow, but then again, they aren't hurting anyone. Love, P.

11/10/01

I slept like a rock last night (presuming that rocks do, indeed, sleep). I had to make up for the poor sleep I had at Massanutten with my Mom snoring away in the twin bed next to mine. I wonder how I was ever able to sleep in a twin bed - I'm much too used to Queen-sized! Tonight is a dinner party at a friend's house. She is a great cook and mentioned tenderloin as the main course. Of course I'll be there! I have a tee time tomorrow at 12:04, so must zoom out of church and change into my golf clothes. Joan wants to humiliate me on the course after I trounced her last time we played. We'll see. . . Love, P.

11/9/01

I left after 9 holes at Massanutten to head home this morning. Mom, Janie, and Fred stayed to play the last 9. I was too cold and had so many layers on that it was tough to swing the club (at least that is my excuse for not playing very well today). The wine-tasting dinner last night was fun. We were seated at a table with 2 couples from North Carolina, and we talked and laughed our way through a five course meal. What was even better was that Mom treated! Love, P.

11/8/01

I kicked butt on the front nine today, with a 48. I struggled on the back, however and even took an 8 on a par 3. It was still good enough to beat everyone else. Tomorrow morning we only have time for 9 before we check-out, so scores won't matter. Tonight is the wine-tasters dinner at the clubhouse. I'm glad I came here. I would not have believed that the weather would be so warm here in the mountains in November! I'll be back home tomorrow afternoon in time for the 'Movers & Shakers' cocktail party. Hmmmm, all this drinking and golfing don't make me sound really sick, eh? I seem to be having too much fun! Love, P.

11/7/01

A beautiful day here in the mountains of Virginia. Aunt Janie, Uncle Fred, Mom & I are staying in a very nice condo at Massanutten. We played 18 holes of golf today. I had low score with 110. We have been playing cards and laughing a lot. This should be good for my immune system. Love, P.

11/6/01

After a poor night's sleep, I have had my scans. They did not scan the brain today (this is where Joan makes some comment about not bothering to scan something that isn't there). I had CT scans of chest, abdomen, and pelvis. The are NO NEW LESIONS. The liver thing is now certain to be hemangioma (benign) because it has not changed size. The lung lesion started at 18 mm (diameter), was 11 mm in August, and is now 8.5 x 6 mm today. Scar tissue and tumor look the same on CT scan, so the remaining lesion may be active tumor or dead cells and scar. The tentative plan is to wait about 3 months and re-scan. If the thing is bigger, we restart chemo, if it stays the same or shrinks, we just watch it a few times a year on scans to make sure it isn't doing anything. Love, P.

11/5/01

Yikes! Tomorrow is scan day!! I drink the yummy (not!) banana flavored contrast material at 7, leave here a little after 8, and am scheduled for 9AM. I should know results before noon. The closer it gets to the time of the scans, the bigger the ball in my stomach gets. I guess worrying does no good. I keep telling myself that the scans will be fine, after all, I've had lots of people praying for me. A special thanks to the entire podiatry department at MJH - each podiatrist made a donation to the American Cancer Society in my name. Will I be able to sleep tonight, or will I be too keyed up? Guess I better take a bubble bath to relax me! Stayed tuned for scan news tomorrow! Love, P.

11/4/01

I'm very late writing this. I went to Sunday school and church this morning at Tammy's and then drove home (about 6.5 hours). When I got home, I had a million phone calls to make, etc. I had my VCR set to record my shows (Friends, Will & Grace, and ER) while I was gone, and stretched out to watch them. Too bad I didn't remember that the clocks were going to go back during the time I was gone. I missed ER from this past week. I think that makes only 3 total episodes I've missed since the show started. The series premiere was when I was at an ER Medicine Board Review Course in Florida. All the ER docs that were there sat in the bar at the hotel and watched the first episode on the big screen. We got loud (we were critiquing) and they threatened to throw us out. It was fun. Well, I think it is time to get reacquainted with my big bathtub. Love, P.

11/3/01

Trent's All-Star team won the first game but lost the final 2-1. (sounds familiar, doesn't it?) Tim's brother Tony and his wife Pat drove down today to see the games. We all roasted at the soccer fields (it hit 85 today) and then had a fun afternoon watching the Clemson game on TV (indoors and air-conditioned). We just got home from dinner. It has been a nice visit. Tammy has fed me so well, that I think I'm back up to pre-chemo weight (darn! It was nice to be thin, but I don't recommend the chemo-diet to anyone). I can barely keep my eyes open! Love, P.

11/2/01

Golf was interesting. I felt that I played tons better, but my score was the exact same as yesterday (113). Janie & Fred want me to play golf with them at Massanutten next week. That will be different. There are narrow fairways and sloped greens at Massanutten, and the temperatures in the mountains are likely to be darn right chilly. We have a soccer scrimmage tonight with 2 games tomorrow. No more golf down here. I'll be attending church down here on Sunday, and will drive back to Virginia after church. Pastor Bill needs to know that I still attend church, even when travelling! Love, P.

11/1/01

November 1st, Sumter, SC - golfing in shorts - how wonderful. Tammy's campaign of getting me to move down here is getting harder for me to resist. No major break-throughs with my game today - I'll have to play again tomorrow to fine-tune my game. She dragged me to the Medical Society dinner tonight. The speaker talked about Bioterrorism, and it involved an open bar and prime rib. Life is so interesting. I cannot believe that I have cancer. I feel great, I'm eating well, I'm playing golf, I'm enjoying all the time off I've had from my job. How can I have cancer? That has to be some kind of a joke, right? I'm so glad I came down here. It distracts me from the knowledge that my scans are this coming Tuesday. I have to admit that I have been lulled into the feeling that the scans will show no more cancer. It has to be that way, darn it! I feel so healthy. What will I do if it shows otherwise?? Love, P.