9/30/2002

Mom left around noon. I was lucky enough to get her to cook lunch before she headed out. She fed Joan and me and then Joan stayed with me until Tammy arrived. Uneventful, non-seizure type of day. It was beautiful outside. Is this Indian Summer or is that later? Tammy keeps teasing me about going out for a few cold brewskies, but I need to hold off on alcohol until I get my dancing feet working again. Love, P.

9/29/2002

I was just a little woozie this morning and felt that church was probably not a good idea. It gave me a good chance to lie on the couch and watch the Ryder Cup (golf, for those who care). I had a great nap this afternoon. I did not have any seizures today. Lynn and Bob had Mom and me over for supper tonight. London broil done to perfection! It is a shame that Mom and I were unable to go up North to celebrate Andrew's birthday in person. We got on the speaker phone and sang his birthday song. Mom is heading back to PA tomorrow. Love, P.

9/28/2002

My drug levels drawn yesterday turned out to once again be too low. Now I have to raise my drug levels higher than before with even higher doses of medication. To think that I felt dizzy when my Tegretol was 600mg a day - now I'll be taking 1200mg a day! Will I be able to attend church tomorrow or will I be under the covers too sick to move? I had two more seizures today, neither lasting very long, but still a pain in the butt. Mom has been down here forever. Unless something strange happens, I'm sending her home on Monday and will have sitters watch me again. There is a good chance that Tammy can come up here from Monday evening to Thursday morning. My other sitters better be prepared to help me out! Love, P.

9/27/2002

Well, I'm still in VA. I was watching some of the Ryder Cup while Mom was organizing for our trip to PA. Unfortunately, I had another seizure this morning. Why does it seem that whenever I plan to do something there's a screw-up? I went from Monday the 9th of September till today without a problem. I should be glad that it happened while I was down here rather than on my way up to PA, but it really bugs me that I keep having seizures. Guess which long weekend my Neurologist has off? I called the back-up Neurologist who again recommended starting with drug levels and going from there. Can you tell that I am very FRUSTRATED? I have no clue now what to do next. Love, P.

9/26/2002

The plan now is for a fantastic supper at Glenmore with Mom, Lou & Al, and Tony & Molly from Australia. Molly waited a bit long before getting treated for GI distress. She says she's going along but won't eat anything. Cheap date! I wanted to put this entry in early in case I had no time later. Irma (from church) stopped by with blueberry coffee cake. Pastor Bill came later. I think he was trying to get some of that coffee cake, but I wasn't sharing. I'm still feeling OK, so the plan for PA is holding up. I'm hoping that my nephew Andrew remembers that I only have one head. His birthday is on the 29th. Love, P.

9/25/2002

As of now, the plan remains to head to PA on Friday if I'm feeling OK. I've learned in advance that I should not predict these things with any certainty. Today Mom and I did errands. We were even able to pick up the charm bracelet that Mom, Barb, and Kat started for me on my 40th birthday. I get a new charm every month, but tend to go quite awhile before I take it in to get updated. Mom found that I had 8 charms which needed to be added. I'm so up to date! It's too bad that Marilyn is up stomping around East Berlin, PA and Mom and I are down here. Rather than sweating the small stuff, I had Mom take me to town today to get two new pairs of comfortable (read "larger") jeans. I get the feeling that Stefan wants me on Decadron for quite awhile. Who am I to fight modern medicine? Love, P.

9/24/2002

I took Mom with me to the Annual MJH Staff Reception. You recall that it is the one party where I can eat dozens of scallops wrapped in bacon. I love whoever it is that invented those tender delicacies. I was not able to wander around as much this year, but still enjoyed myself. Maybe tomorrow I will diet. Love, P.

9/23/2002

Hooray! I feel a bit better each day. You go, girl! I'll take any nice parts of any days out there. I'll even get greedy for those days. I had an uneventful day - pharmacy, visited the neighbor's, etc. I had only one nap today. I even had less headaches today. I don't know how often I'll have days like today, but Thank you, God! Love, P.

9/22/2002

Today was a pretty decent day. Last night, I was permitted to bathe in MY tub (upstairs) and spent the rest of the night up there. This morning I woke well-rested and felt like a new woman. Yes, I was tired, but I stayed awake for hours. I ended up with only one nap today. Mom and I went to church this morning. It was great to see all the people who have been so kind to me the last few weeks. Based on how I am feeling now, I am unlikely to require surgery in the near future. If I continue to feel well, I'd love to try to get up to PA for my Godson's second birthday on the 29th. Love, P.

9/21/2002

I remain tired. We shall see how tomorrow goes. Perhaps a hair less tired than yesterday? I'm hoping to go to church in the morning (that is if I can stay awake). There are certainly a lot of people that I need to thank. What a great church I belong to! I must also thank my golfing friends who have been very supportive these last few weeks. Please keep the food coming! Lou and Al made it home from their vacation. They invited us out to dinner but I was too tired. Mom promised me a bubble bath for tonight if I was good. I hope she's not too picky. Love, P.

9/20/2002

Fatigue, fatigue, fatigue. I'm hoping I'll see some improvement. If I end up sleeping most of the days and nights I'm going to need the surgery. This could just be the tail-end of my medication adjustment. I will monitor the amount of fatigue over the weekend. I may need to make a big decision on Monday. I did manage to go to PT to bat around a balloon and do some toe taps. I had to force myself awake to participate. Three naps today, with another one before bed. Does that sound wrong, or what? Love, P.

9/19/2002

I felt a little bit better today. The dizziness is gone. I am still very, very tired. I like the suggestion in the guest book that it is because Mom is here and I can rest. I made the mistake of talking to both Stefan AND Pat about my symptoms and followed the advice of each. Stefan's advice involved increasing the Decadron (shrinks swelling in tumors) and Pat's which involved cutting back on the Dilantin (prevents seizures but was too high). Because I did both things, my improvement today has not taught me much. I still have some headaches but my thinking is much clearer. Time to go back down on the Decadron to see if that makes a change. Love, P.

9/18/2002

So, what does this day mean? More frequent headaches, extreme fatigue, but much less dizziness. Are my headaches worse because I'm thinking about them, or are they really worse? Why have I slept more the past two days than at any other time? Was Pat right about the dizziness going away? Will I have another seizure? These questions and many more are keeping it interesting. My mom worries that I am sleeping more because she bores me. Perhaps. There are times when my memory is perfect and other times when I can't finish a sentence. Is that because I'm 41 or is the tumor doing it? I guess being 41 can be the sole reason. At times, I can't wait to wake up to see what new symptom I will have. A day at a time. Love, P.

9/17/2002

My mommy is here! I guess she was tired of reading my whiny Journal entries and decided to come down here. More surprising is that she gave up golf to drive down. I saw Dr. Shipley (Neurology) today. She would like to hope that my severe fatigue is due to one of my seizure pills being too high. She offered to get a CT scan of my head today, but did explain that this could become a weekly occurrence. I will hold off for now, though I suspect worsening tumor. If I continue to feel this tired when both my medicine levels are normal, I will talk to Dr. Shaffrey (Neurosurgeon) about more brain surgery. Love, P.

9/16/2002

Is today over yet? This seems to be one of the longest days I can remember. I was hit by severe fatigue and want to nap all the time. I am also having trouble remembering things. Both of these side effects can be from my bleed stroke getting bigger OR from my medicines being at the wrong level. I should find out tomorrow. Until then, I might as well sleep. I hope I wake up in the morning without signs of a worsening stroke. No TV watching for me tonight!! Many prayers to Lynn's mom, Connie, who had surgery this week. Love, P.

9/15/2002

Whoo whee! We've gotten only 0.15 inches of rain. Let's hope we get more than that. I was a bit too dizzy for Church this morning, but the dizzy spells seem to be shorter. I did take two naps and now feel like a puddle, but I think that is because it is so overcast. I paid a few bills today (in advance even). I sense an early bedtime for me despite the naps. I do hear that there is chocolate cake for dessert. Love, P.

9/14/2002

My father continues to do well. Let's hope he doesn't have any more episodes. My dizzy symptoms seem to be getter shorter in duration. I hope I get to the point where I can go upstairs to use my big bathtub! Mom is not going to come down here until she had originally planned, the end of the month. I have plenty of sitters to watch me till then. We went out for prime rib tonight; the food was great but the activity wore me out. I'm hoping to see steady improvement. Love, P

9/13/2002

Thank you all who added Dad to their prayers. You guys are good! Dad played 18 holes of golf today. He would have whooped my butt. Yeah, Dad! I am starting to do a bit better as well. No good golf, but much less dizzy today. My afternoon sitter was able to work on the book with me. We are up to May 9th. I did not even puke today! My last seizure was 5 days ago. My headaches come and go, but are not too severe. I walk pretty well with just a cane by the end of the day. So far, the Carneys have not insisted that I leave. I may be able to stay a few more days before they say that 'enough is enough'. Love, P.

9/12/2002

My dad went home today in a normal rhythm. Hooray! They even told him that he could play golf tomorrow if he wanted to. My meds seem to be doing better. I didn't need to lie supine with my eyes shut for as long. That is quite promising. What will it be like in the morning? Maybe I'll be running around without my cane. The Decadron is going to town on my appetite. I have had nothing but great food since I got worse, and even nausea and horizontal nystagmis doesn't keep me from pigging down! Love, P.

9/11/2002

Dad had his cardioversion this morning. He is back in sinus rhythm and feeling good. Tammy's housekeeper's sister died. Tammy is no longer able to come up here. Hopefully the drug side-effects will wear off soon and I will feel back to my old self. Friends and neighbors are taking excellent care of me. I'm being fed, watered and coddled. I've probably gained another five pounds. I had my first appointment at Physical Therapy this afternoon. They will begin working with me next week. Love, P.

9/10/2002

My father is still in the hospital. He had a few tests today and was out of his room for hours. If he is not back in sinus (normal) by 10 AM tomorrow, they will use electricity to try to "shock" his heart back to (we hope) normal. My increased medicines are goofing me out again, but that should only last a day or two. By then I should be feeling better and stop walking so funny! I've just been fed a pot roast supper with the rumour of blueberry pie for dessert. Maybe this goofy feeling is something I want to hang onto! Tammy will be driving up from SC to be with me for a few days. Love, P.

9/9/2002

My Mom and both sisters are back in PA. My friends from church have pitched in and are taking good care of me. I am spending my overnight time at the Carney's. My day shift are here at home working on my book. This morning I got bad news from up in PA. My father had to be admitted to the hospital for an irregular heart beat. Mom will stay up there with him. Late this afternoon, I had another seizure. It was quite mild, lasting only 2 minutes. My Neurologist had me get blood levels drawn today which show one medicine at high levels and the other one at low levels. I am to take extras of the one, which will make me feel even more unsteady for a few days. My church friends, golf friends, and other friends are not going to let me be alone. I wonder when I'll be sick of them? Love, P.

9/8/2002

Hip, hip, hooray! Jeff Gordon was unable to finish his NASCAR race! Barb helped me into the basement to watch it on the big-screen. I think we would have both been too tired to spend tbe day in Richmond. She then stuck around after church until we had completed the month of March in my book. My typing (which is poor to start with) is even worse with the right hand acting so weirdly. It is many times easier for me to con someone into sitting in the typing chair while I supervise. It's too bad she had to leave - she is a great cook! Shrimp scampi at Lynn's tonight for her birthday. Happy Birthday, Lynn! Love, P.

9/7/2002

No, Mernie, as much as I'd like to go back to "The Land Down Under", I was referring to where I am in the book I am writing. However, if anyone out there would like to send me on another big trip, the answer is 'yes'. Barb and I did NOT win at BINGO last night. A crushing disappointment. All day today I have managed to convince my sister that my typing is much worse than hers. She is working on my book at my instruction. (Actually, her typing is tons better than mine and both of her hands work). In the book (Mernie and any others who are confused about this) we are back in the US again, getting ready for new scans. Barb has urged me to clean out my freezer. Tonight's supper is a mystery roast from years ago. The NASCAR race starts at 8 PM and we will be busy watching. Perhaps it is a good thing that we were unable to get tickets. Love, P.

9/6/2002

I'm going to put this Journal entry in a bit early today. Barb wants us to go to the Fire & Rescue BINGO game tonight. I've heard that the Jackpot this week is $1000 dollars. I have no idea when we will finish or how tired we will be then. Joan is going to join us. If anyone in our group wins, it will be Barb! I worked on my book today. I'm in the middle of my radiation treatment before my trip "Down Under". This part is going slowly! I suspect that my trip itself will also go slowly - I can't leave much out. Love, P.

9/5/2002

More problems with "the hand" today, but I'm starting to get used to it ending up in my coffee, etc. It is a good thing that I am a lefty! Barb & I went out today to start some important errands. We talked to the local Physical Therapy group and we bought a few items to make my life easier (support rails for the tub and shower and a shower seat). On our way to one medical suppy store, I spotted Joe Orlick's office. Joe was one of the ER docs when I started at MJH who left to start his own practice. I stopped by to say "Hi". As a reward for driving me all over the place, I directed Barb to a Harley shop that she had never been to. A neighbor made dinner for us and it was great! (Thanks, Pat!) Love, P.

9/4/2002

Kathy arrived last night with a whole box of Krispy Kreme glazed donuts. What a pal! They are gone now. I finished 2001 in my book. I will begin 2002 later. My sister was actually able to stop at a Harley shop on her way here and DID NOT buy anything! My "weird" right arm keeps getting me into trouble. I have poked myself in the eye, dipped my hand into hot coffee, and surprised myself when I would turn and see my hand only inches from my face. Dr. Shaffrey (neurosurgeon at UVA) will get back to me tomorrow about my films. I'm going to try to hold off on surgery until I get worse. I guess I can deal with my right hand causing problems. Love, P.

9/3/2002

I spilled a whole glass of soda all over myself with my weird right arm that doesn't feel like mine. Brilliant! Wah! My sister has left me and my other sister doesn't arrive till tomorrow. I should have sat and worked on my book all day, but I only did 1/3 of a month. Tomorrow. Barb is working on selling my truck today. Her friend Ruth was/is interested. There is no reason for me to have 2 vehicles which I can't drive in the garage. Boy, with Tammy's computer set to the Home Page instead of the Journal she is only 2341 hits behind on the counter! Should she get a prize? Who hit #20000 on the Journal page? I have a friend coming over to spend the night in case I have another seizure. For all you perverts, it is a FEMALE friend. Love, P.

9/2/2002

Today was my best day so far. I'm not perfect, but I'm sure feeling better. We will try, once again, to remember that boring is okay. Kat has been whining a bit about the polyurethane smell in the house, which she tells me is still present from months ago. She dragged me out today. We saw "The Rookie" at Lynn & Bob's house. We spent hours working on my book, and are nearing the end of November. Kat leaves tomorrow and Barb comes on Wednesday. No way for me to sneak upstairs for a bath without everyone finding out. Kat helped me upstairs last night for a great bubble bath. Coming back down was quite difficult, but she kept me from falling. Love, P.

9/1/2002

Each day gets a little bit better. My unsteadiness is very mild and worse in the morning (can I call it 'morning sickness'?) than later in the day. I'm getting used to the mild weakness on the right, and now only use the cane to navigate in the mornings. I'm bummed out about giving up my rooms upstairs and staying downstairs. Perhaps I'll continue to improve and get to go up there again. You all should know by now that the good bathtub is up there! Love, P.