Happy New Year, Pam! We miss you terribly, but know you are at peace and out of pain. I spent all day doing projects, even reorganized all my spices - some of mine from way back when we lived in Lemoyne, some from here at the Lake, some from your collection at Lake Monticello, and even some you snagged from Grandma's supply. It's amazing how many spices one accumulates over the years. And, it's fun to see how the packaging has changed - from the cardboard boxes, to the tin cans, to the glass containers, to the tiny little plastic containers (costing probably 20 times what the originals cost). Believe it or not, I even threw some out - not like me. I am going to try to start getting rid of "stuff" this year. Never quite got around to cleaning out the garage, but that's at the top of my list for tomorrow. That's it for now. Suppertime! I've been crock-potting pork and sauerkraut all afternoon - PA Dutch traditional "Good Luck" meal for New Year's Day. Mom

I know Pam is with us all as we think of her. This year Al and Lou Colville are at our house (it's #3's turn) for our holiday celebration. It's always a wonderful time for my kids and everyone to get together. We reminisce and talk of years past and other get togethers. Lou has a real "eye" for helping with decorating and she came through once again this year. We moved chachkas around and found a shelf just perfect for one of my most favorite pictures of Pam. It was from when she came to stay with us in January - before the Australia trip. She has a beautiful smile (and even a full head of hair!) and just embodies a time I hope to never forget! Happy holidays to you all and may memories of Pam bring happiness to your days! With love, Ronni Colville (and family).

Merry Christmas! to Pam, and to everyone who reads this. Barb arrived here at 7:30 am, to watch the boys open all of their gifts from Santa & Mommmy & Daddy, and then went back home to crash. She worked night shift last night, and came straight up after work. Later today, we all go to the Lake for turkey & family gift-giving. Santa successfully came when we were all asleep, although that must have been tough, because David says he only slept an hour last night. I must have slept like the dead, because Santa was even able to sneak down the hallway & put a few new fish in the larger aquarium that Bob gave me as an early Christmas gift. The kids are currently playing with millions of small plastic parts, and looking forward to receiving even more later today & again tomorrow, when Bob's parents come for turkey here on Sunday. We went to the candle-light services last night at Trinity, which were beautiful. It is a miracle that none of the small children with candles caught anything on fire! We are missing you today, as always. Love, Karen

12/3/04 I often think of Pam and all of her family. I still wear two of Pam's hats and have worn the shoes completely out. Nothing will ever make me forget how wonderful a friend she was and the good times we had playing golf. She is still fondly remembered here at Lake Monticello. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Joan Godsey

Hello to Pam's Friends and Family. We had the 25th Reunion of Cedar Cliff's Class of 1979 this past Saturday Nov 27th where I found out about Pam's passing. I made a little speech about Pam and how much she meant to me. She and I had lots of fun on the track team together.At the 20th reunion she had come up to me and said how greatful she was to me for getting her to go out for the track team. Just wanted you to know she was missed and remembered fondly. Jackie Petsche Dluzeski.

Although today's date is November 21 and not November 24, the day of the week is the same ... Sunday. In many ways, I find it hard to believe that two years have passed since Pam's death. Not a day goes by without thinking of her, especially with the ribbon pin as a unique reminder. I can't begin to count the number of people who have asked me about that pin - and from all parts of the country. Many want one of their own. I can't imagine how this time of the year must affect you, her family. Her life and death have inspired so many people, and sharing that memory has provided much comfort to me, and hopefully all others who visit this web site. My own father died this past May (2004), at home in his own garden. Because of his death, it hasn't been the best of years for my family, especially my mom. And here comes our first Thanksgiving without him. I can't feel too sorry for myself - this will be your third without Pam. My plans for Pebble Beach continue to unfold. This coming January (2005), I may venture there to see the AT&T Pro Am. I practiced more this year on my own golf game, than in any past year - this kept my mind off the loss of my father. I'm getting to the point where I won't embarrass myself at Pebble Beach, and have a real chance of breaking 100. At any rate, I just wanted to spend a moment with Pam's family, and let all of you know that even after two years, she is no where near forgotten. I know that I can't possible miss her as much as you her family do, but I can assure you that with each new day that I put the ribbon pin on, I remember her, and cherish each day as a gift, and not as an entitlement. May God continue to bless the Brother's family and all of their friends and acquaintances. Take care - I'll be back again someday soon. Eric Peiffer

don't know why, but i've been thinking about you a lot lately. hope all is well with everyone. mg

Dear Pam, I just found out about your fight 2 days ago from my mother. I live in WA state and you remember me I know because we would work with your dad when you were home during the summers from school. We both seem to have been fighting the same battle around the same time with our friend cancer. So far I am still in the running. Knowing you,you gave me your strength so I could win.You were a gracious person. I spoke to your father yesterday and he sounded good but he still misses you I hear it in his voice. I made him laugh a few times,and for the old man to still be able to laugh was good to hear.Thanks for your fight!You keep me at peace knowing you will greet me too someday.Hope I can be as strong, Love Eileen Harman McCann 8/30/04

8/27/04 Dear Pam, Your Mom is here with me now on her way to Gloucester. Just thought you'd like to know where she is. We are going to play 18 holes today. We are both in a slump. Wish you were here to help us. Love, Aunt Mernie

Happy Birthday Pam! miss you. love marianne

June 10, 2004 -- Oh, how I wish we were all celebrating your Birthday today, Pam. I'm sure we would have planned to have filet mignon & lobster, and chocolate cake with peanut butter icing! I miss you horribly. Love, Kat

Kids were talking about missing my Dad the other day and also talked about you! I thought it so touching. Pam, you were in our lives for a short few years but made a very large and long impact. Thinking of you - Ronni 6/04

Dear All, A bit sad at the moment but will bounce back. I have my first teatment last week. Feel not too bad,nails very weak hair itchi.Skin getting dry but key otherwise. Would love to hear about wigs. I would like to get one.That will boost my feelings. It is lovely to be able to express from the heart. A big hug Luisa

pam, keswick tornament happened this year, and i thought of you the entire round.. we shot 21 under par and still placed 7th!! i sure miss you, love, jim

pam, keswick tornament happened this year, and i thought of you the entire round.. we shot 21 under par and still placed 7th!! i sure miss you, love, jim

Hi to Pam and all her friends and family. Love, Julia (5/16/04)

Thinking about you a lot lately. love to everyone. marsh

Dear Pam ... March 26, I returned to Pebble Beach Golf Links for another visit. I was in CA on business, and decided to take a day and revisit the Monterrey peninsula. Didn't play Pebble Beach or any of the other courses there yet, but I was able to enjoy the Monterey Peninsula at sunset for the first time. No fog, blue sky, and a gorgeous sunset. The pictures I took came out beautifully. As I stood at the 18th green and looked out over the Pacific ocean, I thought of you. I didn't hit any golf balls into the ocean this time, but I did have a few in the rental van that I was tempted to throw in. When I saw all the sea otters down below me in the waves doing the back stroke, I figured I'd probably hit one of them and have to pay a fine. Suffice it to say, one of your skin cancer ribbon pins has now been to Pebble Beach. No, I didn't leave it there - I was wearing it. I haven't started making the real plans yet, but this too shall happen. Thanks for helping me to keep life in its proper perspective, and to value life itself. Talk to you again soon. Eric P.

Dear Pammy, Happy Easter! Day of Days! It finally happened! Phil Mickelson finally won a major - the Masters, and got his green jacket! This was his 48th PGA win and 1st Major! Yesterday we celebrated Easter here at the lake with a egg hunt for the boys and a roast lamb dinner for the adults, including the senior Mays. In spite of the fact that I burned the asparagus, the meal was a success and there were plenty of leftovers for us and the junior Mays. The Klines were having their own lamb feast today. Don't know whether you keep up on what's going on here on earth, but the biggest hit movie of this year, produced and directed by Mel Gibson without help from Hollywood is "The Passion of the Christ". Barb and I saw it on St. Patrick's Day. It was brutal, but we know that because of it, (not the movie, but what the movie depicted) you are with Jesus in heaven, and all of our sins have been forgiven. We will see you again when our time on earth is finished. Dad has another cold. He's hacking and coughing four days before he is scheduled for cataract surgery. I hope they don't postpone the surgery, because his right eye is really bad, and he needs to have it corrected. Golf started last week with a breakfast and some of us going out to play. My group played 10 holes but quit because it was pretty cold and windy. We are supposed to play at York Outdoor Club this Tuesday because our course is being aerated, but it is going to rain again so we will probably cancel. I love you loads and loads, Mom

4/10/04 Happy Easter, Pam. The Bunny should be out there tonight with his baskets of eggs. Hope he doesn't freeze. We are still cold in the Albany area, especially at night. I'll have to wear my winter coat to the 6:30 service tomorrow AM at the Capitol. God Bless you and your family. Love, Aunt Mernie

Hi Pam, Even before I logged on and saw Kat's message I had decided to write to you to tell you that we went to Mr. Deeg's funeral today. Keep on the lookout for him. I know it's busy and you can't possibly (or can you?) know who's there and where to find them. I hope you and Ron have been having some quality time. I just finished glancing through his 1980 Cedar Cliff year book, his 1981 Bermudian yearbook, his 1982 Wyoming Seminary yearbook and his 1983 Trinity yearbook The day after tomorrow would have been his 39th birthday. Please give him a huge hug for me. I miss you both so much. Love you tons, Mom

Hi. I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd write. We went to Mr. Deeg's viewing this evening, and are having trouble believing that he is really gone. Evidently, it was a 7" dissecting abdominal aneurysm which did him in. I last saw him when he was being taken by ambulance to the hospital, seven weeks ago, when he commented that it would be good if you were there. He slipped into a coma that night. I can't help but wonder if you would have been able to save him, if you were there to hear his symptoms early on. You were such an incredibly brilliant physician. We miss you so much, Pam. Love, Kat

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone! (Happy Birthday, Uncle Mike!) Love to all M

Okay. It must be getting crowded up there. Or, just maybe, that's where the best doctor is. Pam, please take care of my father-in-law, too. I know I'm asking a lot from you, but, well, who better to ask?? I miss you all. lovetoall M

Hello. Just stopping by the website as I think of Pam tonight. Thinking of you Pam! Ronni

Miss you, Pam. Please look after my dad, okay? Thanx. M.

1/6/04 Epiphany. As we put away the Christmas stuff for another year, we look back on the past year. We still miss you, Pam. Our kids doctor used to prescribe "tincture of time" for many ailments. How much time does it take to heal a personal loss? Love to all the family, Aunt Mernie

Hello Mrs Turtle and the rest of the Brothers Family. Pls do not think that absence from the website means absence of Pam and you all in our thoughts. We often think of Pam and talk about past visits with her, playing cards, getting home improvement advice, playing the piano with Dave (ok maybe just chop stix), and just hanging out. For me the week of Thanksgiving was dually hard this year. It was the year mark for not only Pam, but for my Dad as well. While holidays in general will always be difficult, I try to look at Thanksgiving as a time that I can really dedicate to the remembrance of these truly special people in my life. I try to think of the good they did while here and I try very hard to bring that good out in me. Much Love, Ronni (and Dave and the boys)

Merry Christmas, Pam. I wonder what Christmas is like in Heaven. I'll bet Santa Clause is a bad word there. But to the extent that Santa causes people to give presents to others anonymously, the concept can't be all bad. Like random acts of kindness. David & Andy think Santa is great. Oh, and Mommy & Daddy are OK too (but Santa's gifts were better). I tried to convince the boys that the Angel on the top of our tree was you, but they pointed out that she has blonde hair. And Andy thinks she is a "princess," anyway. Maybe I'll find one that looks more like you for next year. Love, Kat

The Pam's family and friends, Walt and I visited my sister Lou in Sept. It was hard to imagine Pam's home sold. She would come over to visit when we came and have dinner, if her schedule allowed. We hope time will help to heal you and only allow wonderful memories to bring a smile to your face. Pam is just away. We wish you all a happy and healthy New Year. Maureen & Walt

12/22 It's the winter solstice. Pam, I am glad to have had the opportunity to meet your family and friends last year, and visiting the website tonight reminds me of them. Even people I only knew here on this website- seeing their names again is comforting. I wish you were here. Love, Julia

12/22/03 - As Christmas approaches it seems to be a very sad time for some of us. As my husband and I lost his mother in May to Pancreatic Cancer, this will be our first Christmas without her. I have found strength in re-reading Pam's Journal and also reading a journal that I kept while my Mother-in-law was ill. It sounds odd to say, but while my Mother-in-law was ill, I had some of my most memorable times with her. Like watching Gone With The Wind. I only realized this after I read my journal. I give credit to Pam for that, because if she wouldn't have shared her experience with us all, I more than likely would not have kept my journal. I wish you all the best for the Holiday Season! Shelly Rodgers

12/11/03 Hi Pam, I'm tired of seeing nothing new since 11/24. (Thanks Kathy for making note of that date). The family is coping with the thoughts of another Christmas without you. As usual I haven't yet started my Christmas shopping, nor my Christmas cards. Today I started thinking about it, got out the cards I received last year, read the notes and they were all too depressing to go forward from there. Tomorrow I will try again. I love you and miss you terribly. Mom

11/24/03 Hi to Pam and her family- just wanted to let you all know I am thinking about you today and often... Hope your Thanksgiving is a healing one this year. Love, Kathy kacouper@adelphia.net

Pam -- I can't believe it has been a whole year since you died. As you know, I think of you every day. Thanksgiving will always be tough. But I am thankful that you were my sister for as long as you were. Love, Kat

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Dear Dr. Brothers, Though you are not with us anymore in this world, we still remember you and your wonderful smile. May you be save with the Lord now after you completed the brave fight. Sincerely, Hedi and Emil Deeg.

Hey Pam, just wanted you to know I am thinking about you. I know by now that you have met up with Kathy Reynolds she passed away Friday night and I hope the two of you are having fun talking about me for I remember how the two of you were in the ER that night. November is a really sad month for me now. A person shouldn't loose both of her best friends in the same month. Last Sunday was All Saints Sunday and I put your name on a card for Rev. Mike to read. The big new is I have a contract down on a house and it is a mini horse farm. It is really mini 1.36 acres so basically it could only hold one or two horses. It has a sand based riding ring and a small pasture area and some stalls with a tack shed and hay shed. I remember that time we went horseback riding and you wanted a horse again. You thought about for a long time. You know, Kathy would be happy too she missed having a horse as well. Wish me luck that everything goes well and I'll write again. Love Marianne

Hi, everyone! Just wanted to let you know that many of us do check in; that we do think of Pam frequently. You are still in our thoughts & prayers. lolta Marcia G

Hi Kathy, Great to hear from you! I was thinking of you just the other day when taking a Tylenol for my aches and pains (which seem to be more prevalent every time I play golf). We're doing O.K. Miss Pam terribly but don't think of her every minute of every day and night like we used to. That sharp pain has been reduced to a dull ache (that Tylenol can't help). This Sunday, in conjunction with All Souls day our church is going to have a memorial service and light candles for and read names of those who have died in the past year. Pam will be included. I plan to take along plenty of tissues. Please keep in touch. I miss my frequent trips to Lake Monticello and all the wonderful people down there. If you ever get up this way in your business or other travels, please come see us! Love, Margie

Hi to Pam's family- I've been thinking a lot about Pam with the 1-yr mark coming up. It's amazing to me how often her name comes up in conversation, even when I am talking with people who never knew her. Hope you all are doing ok! Kathy Couper (kacouper@adelphia.net)

Hey Mernie, Thanks for the brief message. I just finished sending you a nice long e-mail before I logged on to find your guest-book entry. It's sad to log on every few days and find no new messages in the guest book. I guess lots of people are unaware that it is still operational, and others are reluctant to write notes to someone they think can't read them. I know everybody is still thinking about Pam from time to time, and with the anniversary of her death coming up in just a little over a month, it would be nice to see a little more activity to the site. Love, Margie

Dear Margie & Kat (via Pam?) Thanks for all the updates on your lives. No wonder we seldom hear from you. Love, Mernie

Hi Pam! I have been thinking about you a lot lately. Your Godson, Andy, just turned 3, and is soooo special. The teachers at the Academy told Bob today that Andy was "brilliant." He has started working on puzzles, and is insatiable. He loves Nemo, and anything "Nemo orange." David is an "early reader" even though he is the 3rd youngest in his Kindergarten class, and is the class star. He often wants to "visit Aunt Pam" at the columbarium, provided that Mommy promises not to cry. I just watched (for the zillionth time) the "visual tour" that the realtors did of your house, and am crying pretty hard right now. The house sold a month ago, in the ballpark of the price that you said. I have almost completed liquidating all of your individual stocks, and am almost ready to "close" your Estate, whatever that means. We moved Bob's parents into the Essex House down the street from us today & have a lot more unpacking to assist them with, as they acclimate to "gracious retirement living." Bob wants to move in there too, as they have housekeeping & 3 meals a day in the equivalent of a 5-star hotel setting. Our office building is almost COMPLETELY done, including the landscaping, but had some water damage with Hurricaine Isabel, so Paul is coming back to do some waterproofing, and we should soon FINALLY be getting our sign done (in about 10 more days). Since the carpet in the "Pam Brothers Memorial Library" was ruined with the water damage, I will take this opportunity to tile the floor in there and create a memorial floor mosaic in your honor. I hope to eventually post either pictures of the finished product here or on our firm's website, and post a link here. I MISS YOU!!! Well, I am going through tissues like mad, so I had better go. Time for the boys to say their prayers & go to bed. Love, Kat

Hi Sweetheart, The gang was here today to celebrate your Godson's 3rd birthday (which is tomorrow). Andy is really into "Nemo" stuff, (Nemo is a little lost Clown Fish that they made a terrific movie about that I have yet to see) so he got a lot of that. The whole theme of the party was "Nemo", but Auntie Barb got him a Fisher Price Jeep so that he and David can run circles around our yard. Fun time. Missed you lots! We had the side end of Hurricane "Isabel" here last week. The worst it did was to drop 2.6" of rain and 10 truckloads of depris on our yard. It took me a solid week to clean it up. Boy, am I tired! Too tired even to play golf! Dad has not played much golf at all this year because of his many ailments (heart, back, diabetes, etc.) Plus, it has rained more this summer than I can ever remember it doing. They even had the nerve to cancel several of my Tuesday "Ladies Days" because of rain! Hopefully I can plaay this week in the "Seniors/Super Seniors" tournament. No sense making this message too long. Nobody checks it out any more anyway. Lots of us think about you a lot, but don't put it down in words. I miss you SO much, but am very thankful that I have such wonderful memories of our fun times together. Tons of love, Mom

Hey Pam, I miss you so much. The other morning a vision popped into to my head and it was so vived of you in the hospital on your 1st round of chemo and me driving you home from PA that I cried. You must have been near me then. I wish you could have been with me at the movies to see Seabiscuit. You would have liked that movie. I thought it would help to write this but I am weepy now so I will say "talk to you later" Love, Marianne

Hi Pammy, Dad and I are off tomorrow for my 50th high school reunion. Time flies so fast, I still feel like a kid, and here I am 50 years out of high school. I babysat David and Andy today. What fun! They are such sweet kids! Played golf Tuesday and my team won gross in the 4th division. I had a 4 for 2 chip in on #6. My golf is still not good, but I keep trying. I know you can't read these messages, but you are probably monitoring my thoughts, so you know what I am saying. Love you and miss you incredibly much. Mom

Hey Pam, It's me again. Just wanted you to know that Kat and I are just about done settling everything with your Estate. We help each other deal with everything, because it's still too sad, then I have strange dreams (your last days in the hospital, etc). I'm trying to stay focused on our happy times, and not the cruelty of the cancer itself. Say Hi to Ron and Gram and Gramp for me! I got stuff down here I gotta do, Love, Barb

Hello Pam (and family). I am home while the rest of the family (#3 - or were you #3 and we were #4) are in VA at Mom and Pop (Colvilles). I stayed home to continue to work w my Mom to get her ready to move up here. It's a lot of work and very hard condensing 50+yrs into a few boxes. It felt very strange not going down to VA with Dave and the boys, but it is a bit of a relief because this would be the first trip down there that you aren't there. It will never be the same on our visits to Lake Monticello without you there with us. I think of you often and miss you so. It's so hard to believe you're not here. But I know you're somewhere nearby, in a much better place and with no pain. I suppose it's just plain selfish to wish you were still here, but I do feel so lucky to have had those few very cool years of knowing you. Finally found a great spot for the picture!! Thanks Pammy! Love ya, Ronni

Dear Pam. Few days go by without a thought that has you in it. Each day, I wear my mole pin to work. It's become a standard part of my business attire. Several people have asked me what it means, and I relay to them a condensed version of your story. I went to a funeral today ... remember Tom Cavanaugh - he graduated with me. His dad died this past Monday, June 30 (2003). I am good friends with Tom's sister Lori, and it was wonderful to see her and her family again - although the circumstances of our reuninion were less than desirable. Maybe you'll get a chance to meet Lori's dad ... nice guy, good person. The family he left behind is a reflection of the person he was ... similar to you and your family. Good people, caring people. Pebble Beach is slowly taking shape. Other than my new golf clubs which I bought back in March (2003), I have been buying a bunch of stuff from the Pebble Beach web site to decorate my golf bag with. Because of a special the web site had during the month of June (2003), shipping was free for orders over $50. I also had the opportunity to notice special golf packages they offer. It seems they regularly discount stay and play packages - which is a good thing. Greens fees for Pebble run $385 as I told you the last we spoke. Spyglass and Spanish Bay run around $200. However, with some of the specials offered, its sometimes buy one greensfee, get one free. I have already purchased 2 dozen Calloway Red golf balls, per your specification, and have already marked them for use at Pebble Beach - in fact, I used my Sharpie markers and labeled one of the dozen with PBs. Until I marked that dozen balls, it hadn't dawned on me that you share initials with Pebble Beach (middle names excluded!!!). I have already spoken to several friends and business associates who are interested in joining me for 18 at Pebble. It's going to happen, I'm just not yet sure when. That's all for now. Thanks for listening. --- Eric Peiffer

June 30, 2003: To Pam's family: We want you to know that we still think of Pam and with fondness (often while grinning at some joke or another). We were blessed to know her during our times together at MCV. We hope that your fond memories are easing your loss. Vivian and Joe B.

Dearest Pam, I got back from Gloucester last evening with a cooler full of lobsters. Kat, Bob, and the boys joined us for dinner. Barb had to work so had to decline. I had a wonderful time in MA and actually played semi-decent golf. The member-guest was lots of fun but the weather was very hot (in the 90's). We didn't play real well, "but we looked good" in our Hawaiian costumes. We stopped at Andy's on the way home and let her know where the Swiss painting now resides. (She keeps a notebook with pictures of all her paintings and where they are). Dad and I got a very touching card from a former Fummer (class of '55) who never knew Dad but knew you quite well as he was a patient of yours at Geisinger after a very serious auto accident. He and his wife praised you very highly, and of course, it made me cry to read it, but I will always cherish their glowing words. I love you, Honey, and miss you terribly, but know that we will someday be reunited. Mom

Pam, I think about you all the time and am very sad that you were taken before we were ready. I'm dealing with my grief and thank God everyday that I still have a healthy Mom. I don't talk about my feelings much with Karen, because she is hurting too much, and her life is so kaotic. I wish you could have seen how good the boys were during their haircuts. They are growing up so fast. I must go to work now (Fri. 13th-night shift...day before a full moon..working tomorrow night, too) What do you think the odds are of a quiet night? Later, Love, B

Dear Pammy, I just poured my broken heart out to you, but when I looked up at the screen, it was gone. (Just as well - we don't want to depress people.) Basicly, I miss you terribly! My golf this year sucks and I know now how you felt in '01 when you didn't want to play any more. I've gotten to that point. However, I'm going up to Gloucester this weekend for Janie's Member/Guest on the 25th, and the gang is coming to Hanover for my Member/Guest on July 8th. (Ellie will stand in for but never replace you.) I love you, Honey. I'll never stop loving you or remembering all the good times - and we did have a lot of good times. Mom

Oh, Pammy -- I gave you a card last year. It said "I'm glad we're sisters." I had written "I'm so happy that we are celebrating your 41st Birthday!" I came across it while moving all of your files from my old office to our new office building this past weekend. Yes, it is finally done & we finally moved in. Now I don't have the "project" to keep me occupied anymore. God, I miss you. I still can't believe this happened to you. To us. I miss you so bad. I threw away a bunch of T-shirts today that I had ruined while working at the project. Most of them we had bought together while on one of our trips, or you had bought for me. St. Thomas, St. John, Grand Tetons, Savannah, etc. Boo Hoo. I miss you. Love, Kat

6/10/03 Happy Birthday, Pam. We all miss you.

Happy Birthday to you! Guess what I am having tonight in honor of today? like that was really hard to do. Good thing I love steak too. I had a dream that you came and spent the day with me and I was so happy. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and miss you, but you know that. Love, Marianne

pam, here we are again prepping to play OUR annual outing at keswick country club. i find myself at home refreshing my memory of all our wonderful times at this event. i look at the pix we had taken each year and how much you loved to play this silly game..know this pam, we will never replace you on our foursome, we can only sub for you. hows the rough in heaven?? love, jimmy stockton

Hello Pam! I've read the recent entries. Hello to your family too (and the extended one that includes folks like me who feel like Pam is a sister). Hello Mrs. Turtle (hope that's not too forward). Just wanted you to know that even though I only log a hello every now and again, I often think of Pam! While all of our preferences would be to have Pam here with us, it is a most wonderful thing to see how many ways she still affects so many of us. - xo, Ronni

Dear Pam, I think of you each time I tee off wearing your wind shirt (Marge gave to me in remembrance of you) and hope that it will help me break 120! I am not ready to break 100, but golf has me hooked. Wish you could join us. We miss you. Love Aunt Mernie

Dearest Pam, I don't check in every day like I used to, but once a week or so I check to see if anyone has written. How nice to see Julia's note today and the new one from Kat. We miss you so much, Honey. I know you are watching over us. Pretty pitiful golf round I had last week, huh? As you know, I'm using your (Dad's) old putter now - no betterr, no worse than my old one. Some go in, some don't. Guess you know I have a little memorial for you and Ron set up in our livingroom with your pictures, obituaries, dried flowers from your casket, and that wonderful scented candle that one of your many friends sent you when you were in the hospital. I hope that you and Ron have reconnected, along with Grandma and Grandpa, Nana and Boppa, Aunt Billie, Uncle Jack, Uncle Dave, Bonnie, and J. I just finished reading a book called "What if God were the Sun?" so I know that you are all waiting for us to join you eventually. I'm not in any hurry, but I do look forward to seeing you all again. Meantime, I have so many wonderful memories of all our times together, playing golf, travelling to Australia, Hawaii, Virgin Islands, Ireland, Vancouver, etc. I love you, Honey. Mom

Pam-- I was at a meeting that you used to be an integral part of today, and I hope you appreciated that I mentioned you by name. I also thought about you last week, when I was cleaning out my desk, and came upon that chart you drew: the ones with all the lines and arrows. It made me laugh all over again. How clever that was, and still relevent too. I enjoy thinking about you. I hope your family is well. Your friend Julia 3/24/03

Pam -- It has been 5 very long months since you were taken from us. Why couldn't time have dragged this slowly during the 18 months you fought to stay with us? I often wonder what you would have thought of the war, the SARS epidemic, the upcoming doctors' strike in Pennsylvania, and today's school shooting in York. As my paving contractors continually feed me the line, "we will be there next week for sure," I imagine your supportive anger, and the choice names you would have called them with me. I wish you could see how good the woodwork at the office looks -- the painted baseboards that you and I removed and planed down -- now that they are stained, polyurethaned, and are against the newly painted walls; how the ceramic tile is coming along; and what you think of the carpet for the "Pam Brothers Memorial Library." I guess you can see it all; you just can't tell me what you think of it. I'm glad that you did not have to be there in person to see us pack up all of your things and empty out your house for its eventual sale, even though we certainly felt your presence there as we packed. I [still] miss you. Love, Kat

Oh, Pam, I miss you. Love, Kat

Pam, I followed your story from start until finish. It was almost like knowing you, at least somewhat. May you rest in peace.

2/23 Pam is in my thoughts every day as I put the melanoma pin on my shirt or as someone asks what the pin stands for on my coat lapel. But lately, Pam has been in my thoughts quite a bit.We have a beautiful picture of her in our family room with her glowing smile (taken January a year ago when she was here for New Years- I think I even sent a copy to Mrs Brothers - if not let me know, it's a beauty!). I've only known Pam for a short few years, but her friendship and impact on my life are stronger than some I've known my whole life. I lost Pam and my Dad in less than 12hours of each other. Both so important to me. So I cherrish and thinkof them in different ways, but with such happy memories. Illness and death are not always dignified, but Pam lived her life through this illness with dignity and humor and shared that with all of us. I love having her in my heart every day. I miss her smile and quick wit, but feel very blessed to have known her. Ronni

2/22/03 Hi Pam's family- wanted to let you know that I think about Pam and you all the time and when I think of her, it's the strong, quick-witted, laughing, healthy Pam. It's the Pam who played with the magnetic poetry on the fridge at my dinner party, arranging the words to say "Have some meat, then have wind." I think of that full-of-life laughter that would erupt from her when something funny would happen, even if she was laughing at herself. When I think of her, it is not in the past tense at all- I am sure she is all around us and still with us. I miss her, but I am gradually getting the sense that she is being taken care of and is very happy, and not suffering from anything. The only ones suffering are us, and we have to take care of ourselves very carefully, enter a sort of emotional ICU. I think it human nature to avoid the pain and try to get past it (as if that could ever really happen anyway), but I think to feel the pain and let it wash over us in waves is to let the experience weave its way into us and become transformed into compassion and other gifts that allow us to live more fully and more enlightened about God and His amazing ways. I came across a poem by Rumi, a 13th-century poet and it inspired me to want to share it with you: 

"Don't turn your head. Keep looking at the bandaged place. That's where the Light enters you. And don't believe for a moment That you're healing yourself," 

As surely as physical wounds heal only by the grace of God, so do the emotional ones, and trying will not make a difference. If we are being allowed to suffer, it is only to let the Light in through the wound. I pray for healing for us all and am very grateful for my friendship with Pam and you, and for being allowed to experience the pain in life and for all that lies ahead, no matter what it is. Love, Kathy Couper

I logged on to Pam's website today to see how she was doing and expecting to read about her travel plans. I was saddened to learn of her death and your loss. Please accept my belated condolences. Brenda Gacki

Hi Family and Friends: I just read Margie's message to Wenday and thought that I would say HI to all of you. We just celebrated our second anniversary at G&G and as we gathered for morning worship, Pam's name came up and we, once again, shed tears of both sadness and joy. Sadness for the loss and joy for knowing her. I do hope that Carl is feeling better and our prayers do continue for all of you. Please come and visit. By the way, as we celebrated our anniversary, we were more than 100 in number in Sts. Peter and Paul RC church on Sunday afternoon. God Bless, Pastor Bill

Hi Wendy, This is Pam's Mom. I have been wanting to respond to your message ever since I read it. Thank you so much for your wonderful tribute to Pam. She was a wonderful person, and I'm glad you got to know her even if it was for a very short time. I remember well those Sundays at Grace & Glory when we sat right in front of you and your family. One week Pam could hardly walk with a walker and the Sunday after her brain surgery she didn't even need a cane. I'm so happy that your experience with her taught you that death is not to be feared but to be accepted with assurance that you are going to a better place. The worse part about death is the emptiness left in the hearts of your loved ones. I miss her so much! Seldom a day goes by that I don't shed some tears missing her. (Your message brought on a flood, and I'm bawling now as I write this, but crying is probably very good therapy). I'm already starting to miss my frequent trips to Lake Monticello and Grace & Glory. I'm sure it will get even worse when golf season arrives. I never could beat her at golf. Occasionally I could beat her by a stroke or two on the front nine but she would whup my butt on the back nine. What a competitor!! Thanks again for your tribute to Pam. Say "Hi" to Pastor Bill and all Pam's (and my) friends at G & G for me. Love, Margie

Hi, Pam's family. I wanted to share my own journal's entry with all of you who have loved her. "pam, the lady [25 Nov 2002|09:03pm] We started going to a new church, cause the pieces fit and I felt ready to try and belong again. So, the place is comfy-casual. The people are middle-aged-to-old, but there is a sprinkle of family and a fleck of children, too. During the service on Sundays there is the usual list of prayer requests for people in the community who are ailing or grieving or just needing a lift from thoughts to God. There was a lady, Pam Brothers, who I didn't know.. but I mumbled her name along with the rest of the tiny congregation. Her name stayed with me, even though the rest of the list paled during the week. Maybe it's just an easy thing to remember. So, on Sundays thereafter I'd say Pam Brothers a little more clearly than the rest of the semi-pronouncables. She was sick or something. I didn't know what. I'd only just begun to come to this church.. what? Two months ago? I haven't become regular in going every week. One Sunday, there was Pam Brothers. She was sitting by herself in the front row of folding chairs. I slipped in behind her, tugged Manna in beside me, and Rob had a seat beside us. Throughout the service, I saw the shocks of thick, brown hair sticking every which way from Pam's scalp. I eyed the crewel knit sweater that sat thick on her shoulders. She was a little heavy, not offesnively, and probably tall. She had a somewhat athletic body, but it seemed broken the way she hunched her back and leaned, without any poise, to one side. A while into the service, I noticed that she'd placed her nametag on the floor. Pam Brothers. It was little two by three card in a plastic shell. Some of the people clip the nametags on or pin them... but Pam's was on the floor, nearly under the heel of her chair. I looked up again, seeing only the side of her cheek, the back of her head, her posture, her sweater... knit pants... She couldn't be fifty. She felt sick, not old. She had that fearful energy about her that intimidated me, but I couldn't stop looking at her - staring, really. I couldn't figure out -why- she was sick. The entire service was passing me by and I sat there, focused on Pam. I couldn't send my eyes elsewhere until communion. That's when I had a chance to see her face! So, I ran through the little course of parishioners balanced on folding chairs, and I made it to the front of the small room to be given, and to receive, communion. God forgive my eyes for wandering and my mouth for answering some inaudible amen. My hands for barely lifting, and my mind from straying, but I had to look at her. It was so sad when I did. She couldn't leave her seat to come up for the communion, so the priest and helper person brought it over to her. She didn't look frail, like I said, just worn? Tired. She looked tired. She looked hopeful and she had a smile. Her glasses were round and a little too big for her plain face. They washed out the beauty that waited to be seen behind them. She had an honest smile. I smiled at that. I worried, too. I couldn't say what Pam was suffering from... but she looked -okay-. Not great.. just okay. In a way, I already liked her. I liked Pam Brothers, the name on the bulletin. And now.. I like Pam Brothers, the lady who smiled nicely and seemed so strong and still was broken. I think that's when I really began to feel for her. I wanted to help her, somehow. I wanted to be her friend? Without being her friend. I felt like it was pretty stupid to just walk up and begin to be friends. I didn't know why I even liked her. I did have some pity, but it wasn't pity! It was love. And I can't tap Pam Brothers on the shoulder and say, "Hi. I love you." and feel sane. But, it was in me to do and to say, and I felt it for the rest of that hour, and all the way home. It made me return to church, but she wasn't there. So, I said her name and I prayed when it was time for that. A few weeks went by without sight of her, and then a slip of paper circulated the room. I took one of them and passed the remainder, then read a URL. The pastor, a real nice guy, said that this was Pam Brothers's website and encouraged everybody to leave her a note. Pam had an upcoming operation and was scheduled for brain surgery. http://www.pamfightscancer.com/ Meanwhile, I still very much -liked- Pam. I loved her. I had no idea who she was. I just loved her. Have you ever met a soul and you just -knew-? I just -knew-. Well... she hadn't yet had her surgery.. but, there she was again the next Sunday. She was moving slow, in need of a walker, and she sat on the side of her chair. She was right in front of me again. Her hair wasn't neat, but it was brushed. Her mother had come with her (I think it was her mother) and sat by her side. I was able to focus on the service that day, while only sometimes looking at Pam or her mother. Her mother kept on touching her. She used a hand to keep contact, rubbing an arm of Pam's sweater or just resting on her leg. Pam wore sneakers that reminded me of my grandfather... with the velcro strips that make it easier to fasten. It made me sad to see those. No doubt people look at those all the time and think they're for dorks.. but really.. they're just another way for a limited ability to be held onto. So, Pam could still put on her own shoes, you know? There's a dignity in being able to do that. During the 'peace' in that service, when the pastor says "Peace be with you..." and group replies in kind, and then we're all handshakes and granting one another peace. It's an amicable moment, and one that I like very much. So, Pam was there in front of me, and I may have ignored a few hands.. but I slipped out of my row and walked to her. When I tell you that I put my arms around her and hugged... I have to say that it was SO from my heart that I could hardly let go of her. She had no idea who I was. I really.. had no idea who she was. I bounced around on her website for a little, but I still didn't know this stranger. I only knew that my heart was hers if she wanted it. I just didn't know how to tell her so. So, I hugged. The moment only lasted so long. I went back to my seat, and shook hands and smiled somewhat. I prayed so hard for her that day when "Pam Brothers" was mentioned. Before communion started, she pushed herself up onto the walker she was using and she tread over the carpet to receive communion all by herself. It was courageous to me. After the service, I wished her well on her operation.. and she told me when she was having surgery and I told her I'd keep her in my prayers and she thanked me. She seemed confident, and it made me feel like she'd pull through just fine. She did have surgery on a Wednesday after that... and then on a Sunday -right- after that.. Pam was at church! She was standing upright. She was walking -freely-. She didn't hurt or take her time when she stood up and already she had lost that sagging look of her skin. Her face looked happy. Oh, man, it was so great to see. After the service, I talked with her again, briefly. I just wanted to reach out to her like I can't even express. Anyway, time passed, and I didn't go to church for a few weeks in a row. The one before last, Rob told me that Pam was diagnosed with more cancerous lesions on her brain... and that she 'only had a few weeks'. He didn't understand my feelings for her, but he did know that I had some. So, I thought it was nice that he remembered to tell me that. I went to church last Sunday worried that I would have to hear that Pam died. I argued with Rob about it, but he offered that she wouldn't have died so soon. But, I thought to myself 'yes she would.' and you know why? It's because I would have. I would have taken more lesions, especially inoperable ones, as time to just relax and let things go, and to accept finality, turn the covers down and sink into that bed. Not in a gruesome way. Please, follow me. I just knew it in my heart that she didn't have to suffer and I honestly believe that when a person dies, they do so with acceptance. Maybe they don't have a choice in their pain, but they can hold on and linger for days, weeks, months, years in vegetative states or comas or insanity, or on life-support... but they go when they're ready. And I just knew she would be? She had that day to walk without help, and to smile, and to really know freedom again.. and maybe that was just enough, that little taste. When I think on it, I think it'd be enough for me. Not many people get that chance, no matter how slight. Huhmmmm so... on Sunday, there wasn't any Pam Brothers in the bulletin. We didn't have to pray for her. I looked at Rob with tears in my eyes and he nodded, accepting that I'd been right, and I looked back at the list of names that didn't include her. When the lady who read all the names had finished her list, she added something about praying for Pam, who died at some part of that very morning. Who could blame her? I'm glad she was part of my life, even for a little while. I'm still affected by this stranger who I love for no reason. In all of this, I've learned how much I want to -really- help people, and to help them, and I've learned what a respect I have for the dying, and for death. Just wow. I encourage you to read her site, but only if you can handle dying. Don't feel bad if you can't. I just happen to get more courage from her than sadness." I'm so glad to have met her, and I was only a few moments of time. I can't imagine the impact she had on those who really knew her. In God's love, Wendy

I see I am in good company! Pam has come to mind so many times and I think about writing in her guest book once more but.... well, I finally did it today and I see others coming here to remember and share too. To Pam's family, I know you all have endured the worst of holiday's, missing Pam as I know you have. May God give you all strength to "get through" each 1st this year, knowing in time, the 'great times' will flood your memories and the pain will lessen. You are all in my prayers. Love, Katie S.

I had the privelege of working under Dr. Brothers at Martha Jefferson Emergency Department while I was a student at UVA. I will always remember her for her sense of humor (which certainly helped me through many night shifts in the ER), her keen diagnostic skills and most importantly, her caring bedside manner.

Dr. Brothers, as I finish my medical training, I can only hope to follow in your footsteps by doing all I can to heal those who suffer. May your memory be eternal. My deepest condolences to the family.

Lambros Stamatakis University of Maryland School of Medicine

I don't usually write, but have followed Pam's journal since day one. We met at a mutual church members home at Lake Monticello. It was the July 4th weekend right after Pam found out about her illness. My husband and I visit the lake periodically during the years and met up with Pam at church services. Pam you are an inspiration to all. You truly were an amazing and brave person thru your illness. Your spirit will always live on. My prayers are with your loving family and may God hold you close to his heart. You will be truly missed. I share your story with others and will miss your journal entries. Ann & Richard Pfister

1/06/03 In reading today's comments I see I sent yesterday's message three times but my screen never indicated the comments had been submitted. Oh well better three times than none!!! My usual words are I miss all of you. Love and prayers Joan G

Hi Pam. It's been several weeks since I've been here. The PamFightsCancer bookmark in my browser just kind of stares at me. I've been clicking it out of habit, going back to June of '01. Since returning from the funeral, it's been difficult. My eyes keep welling up. You're no longer at the other end to update your journal. You're no longer snickering at one of my obtuse guestbook entries. Or are you?

At the funeral when Pastor Bill asked if anyone would like to share something about Pam, I was flooded with stories. As Kat and I joked later, "Hmmm, can't tell that one in church," I realized how I remember you best. Whether it was at the lake, or in Gloucester, or during one of your Road Trips; the image is strong. Okay, close your eyes and think of a time when Pam was laughing really hard at something. I mean really hard. Laughing so hard she can't breathe. Laughing so hard that she's struggling to keep Diet Coke from coming out her nose. When I think of those times, I'm overcome by an uncontrollable urge to laugh out loud. That is the joy of Pam I have in my heart. And I will carry that with me always.

I now realize this is a good way to talk to you. I know you are "hearing" this. Just as I know you were among us at Camp Hill as I sat in the pew with our cousins. I'm so glad you've been a part of my life... and I'm so glad you continue to be a part of my life. See ya later, alligator. -cousin Tom

1/6/03 One of the gifts I received at Christmas was a new pocket book. When transferring my stuff to the new pocket book I found an old ragged piece of paper with the notation "Pam's phone number". I just forgot to get the area code for heaven!! I miss Pam and she is often in my thoughts and prayers. I miss her family too and I also keep you in my prayers. I think a golf tournament in memory of Pam is a good idea. Joan G

Hello Pam ( I just know you're keeping tabs on this website with the rest of us). Just wanted you to know we've kept up our tradition -we had Chinese food, watched bad movies, ate popcorn and reminisced about your visit last New Year's eve! Love ya, Ronni Dave, Sean, Jason and Matthew

It's New Year's Eve in the ER, Pam; thinking of you... Julia

Merry Christmas Pam. I imagine your Christmas is much better than ours. As nice as it is to celebrate the birth of Christ with family, we are missing yet another important member of our family this year. I hope that you have met up with Ron, and with Grandma & Gramp, and are celebrating together. I can't shake the feeling that I can write you a message here and you will receive it, just like old times. Heck, now you probably can hear me when I talk to you out loud, or even when I just talk to you in my head, and typing messages here is redundant. So, as you already know, I miss you. Love, Kat

I, too, come back to visit Pam on this website to remember her wonderful sense of humor (even during indignant moments) and her unending strength. We've kept her Christmas card from last year and will bring it out each year so that she will always be thought of not just with sorrow, but with a sense of happiness. Pam was with on NYE last year, and so this year we will again play cards, watch a movie and have some popcorn and reminice about Pam's visit. We feel so lucky to have had her in our life. No words seem to say it exactly right - but with this website and our memories, we will keep Pam with us always. Our thoughts are with all of Pam's family. Love, Ronni (Dave and the kids).

This evening, the family at Grace & Glory Lutheran Church will gather to celebrate the gift of the Son of God. We will be reminded that in all of the pain which is felt in this imperfect world there is the breaking in of the "Light" of God's grace.

I know that Pam's family will be remembering all of the love which you have so kindly given to them. They will also be feeling the lose of Pam.

May they continue to know that all of the members of Grace & Glory remember them in our prayers.

I also want to thank all of you, personally, for your gifts to the building fund of Grace & Glory in Pam's memory.

The church was a vital part of Pam's life....Pam's life was also a vital part of Grace & Glory.

May all of you have a blessed Holiday. Pastor Bill Stewart

To all who visit this website, and read its guest book entries ... prior to Pam's death, this web site served as one of faith, hope, and prayer all energy focussed on her survival, all of us hoping that the end would not come, and she would somehow, someway miraculously recover. Now that she is gone, we should continue to access and use this website to connect with others, to share thoughts and memories, and to collectively celebrate her life. This website has become a vital link between all of her friends and family, and hopefully it will continue to help us all recover from this loss. It is my understanding that there are no current plans to discontinue this site. I have spoken to the family about ways we can remember Pam, including the possibility of a memorial golf tournament, with proceeds going to a charity of her family's choice. Please share your thoughts with other's who read this website. Help this website to continue to be a meeting place, and a memorial to a wonderful person's life. - Eric Peiffer

I didn't know Pam but reviewing her pictures. God had his hands all over her each photo you can see the light of God on her face and in her eyes. You can really tell that she knew she was going to meet her true bridegroom on her wedding day which is God. What a mighty God we serve. I just want Pam's family to know God stands in the midst of every situation, trial and tribulation. God Bless

I don't know about all of you, but I feel like a part of me is missing, and I need to keep coming back to this web site 'just to look' for something to fill the void. I guess most everyone has moved on to thoughts of Christmas, but I can't get too excited about it unless I think about Jesus, and that Pam is with Him. I am satisfied for now, but I will still come here with tears in my eyes. Love, Barb

I did not know this wounderful lady, but she is an inspiration to us all what life is all about. We must never forget that life is very short and we all must live each day as if it were are last. So i think we all should love and respect each other as long as we are on this earth. God Bless her family and everyone on this earth.

Dear Margie, Please don't think I have forgotten you. I have had you in my mind for the past months, following Pam's progress and demise. She was such a trooper ..as were you and Barbie and Karen. This website has been wonderful. I'll be in touch soon.......Hope you and the family are doing okay. LOVE, Ellie

Dear Marge, I just found out that Pam is gone, she was very courageous and her journal has been a great help to myself and many, many others. I am very sad for you and your family, but, glad that her trial is over and she is in a better place now. Jim Heron

This is a message to Pam's parents. Our daughter Lisa was a friend of Pam's from the early days in Lemoyne, through elementary school at Washington Heights, middle school in Lemoyne and thereon, I just need to send my very deepest sympathies to you and Pam's siblings, I have many happy memories of Pam as a child and although I didn't know her as an adult, I know she would have been a delight and pleasure. Again, our deepest sympathies. "The Wilkins."

My memories of galloping like horses and playing elementary school games with Pam are somehow more clear to me than what happened two weeks ago. I learned of Pam's entrance into heaven from my mother who saw the obituary in the paper. She was a childhood friend and a courageous woman. My deepest sympathy to her family and friends. In Christ all is possible, Lisa Wilkins McNett CC'79

I miss Pam, but feel her in my heart every day. I come to her website often to read through her days over the lst year and a half- some good, others not. But I leave feeling close to her. I read through all the encouraging entries from her friends and family and know the power of her connection to us all. Visiting VA will never be the same. I am so grateful for her visits to our home. I will always remember those times. I cherish her presence that stays with me. I miss you, Pam. In my heart I believe that G-d knew of the wonders you brought to so many and that even in those last days you still touched our lives. Your work here, while seeming short in our terms of life, was full and complete. All my love, Ronni

To Pastor Stewart:

Thank you for providing us with a copy of the Homily for Pam's Celebration of Life. I posted it to the website for all to read and to take comfort from.

Karen (Kat) May

To Dr. Brothers and all of the family, my sincerest condolences to all of you in the passing of your daughter and sister, Pam. Reading the obituary, I learned of the website. As I read the journal, I was amazed at Pam's incredible humor, such inner strength and beauty and her courage in the most difficult time of her life! God bless you all and may He give you the strength for each new day. (My siblings were C.C. '70, '72 & '77, myself , C.C. '66, & a retired OR RN). In Jesus' love, Amy Helmick Ensminger.

I saw Pam's obituary in the Harrisburg Patriot-News, and recognized her from the picture as being someone I went to school with at Cedar Cliff (Pam being ahead of me in school). I want to extend my sympathy to Pam's family, and will pray for their comfort at this sad time. Sincerely, Michele (Bower) Neff (class of 1982)

To Margie, Carl, Barb and Kat, Home safely today after the service in PA and celebration of Pam's life with family. Wonderful family reunion. We thank you all. Pam has crossed that bridge (and it probably wasn't that scarry afterall). We won't forget her. Love you all, Janie, Fred, Nanci

12/1 Dear Kat, Thanks for keeping the website going. The "sympathy cards" just keep coming and it is comforting to read them and know how many people Pam's short life touched. Thanks also for your hospitality. We got home safely - despite a snow squall from Frackville to Hazelton. Love you all, Mernie

I worked with Pam when she was an ER attending at Carlisle Hospital. I did not know about Pam's illness until I heard about her death from a family practice collegue. She was a wonderful,compassionate and competent Emergency Medicine physician and it was a pleasure working with her. My sincere condolences to all her family and friends. Her web site is such a touching testimony of her bravery (along with that wit that I remember) and true compassion and care from friends and her wonderful family. Sincerely, Carol Robison, DO

I really don't know what to say, I wish I would have know about her journal before I read her obitutary. She, I'm sure is a wonderful person and her family is loving and giving and kind and I can only hope that you are all blessed and you keep the memories of Pam alive. I will think of you often and I will read this journal when I think that my own life is tough. God Bless You All.

I had the privilege of working with Pam when she worked at our Emergency Department at the Martha Jefferson Hospital in Charlottesville. She was always smiling, efficient, reliable, and had good clinical sense and bedside manner -- as you know an important attribute to those who are ill.

We miss her. My condolences to the family.

Larry Z. Goss, M.D.

Dear Marge, Kat, Barb, and Dad (who I somehow didn't meet the other night). Here I am back on the web site. Force of habit sent me to the journal where I momentarily looked for Pam's latest entry. Then I went to the guest book. Oh my goodness! Now I sit here with tears again brought on by reading all the loving and caring entries from those who just found out the news from reading the obituary in PA. It makes me realize even more that Pam was such an incredible human being and I'm so greatful to have known her. Selfishly, I wish for more time with her but am relieved she is at peace. I laugh daily when I think about her "peek a boo" stunt -- so typical of her and yet so unbelievable she still had that kind of humor just a couple of days before she died. I also chuckle when I think of what kind of golf she is playing on the Heaven Links -- she's probably breaking 80 every round and still not satisfied!!! I hope to see you all someday in PA when I visit my East Berlin friend. Until then, please know that I think of all of you frequently and hope that someday the memories of Pam will somehow relieve this overwhelming sadness. God bless you all and Kat, thanks again for this wonderful web site. Love to you all, Marilyn Hale (from the other LM)

I just finished reading Pam's journal. What a brave woman she was. I didn't know about the website until I saw her obituary. How wonderful for her that she was surrounded by such loving friends and family for this horrible ordeal. I was diagnosed with Melanoma in September, but thankfully the second biopsy came back clear. My heart goes out to her family. Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your lives.

Cindy Rogers Sowers Cedar Cliff Class of 1975

I used to be Pam's hairdresser back in 94/95. I worked at Mirage Hair Design in Lemoyne, PA. I remember her with a smile in my heart and a tear in my eye as I read the obit today (11-29-02). When I opened up the newspaper I immediately saw her picture and the tears came. I have not seen her for quite some time as I have not worked at that location for many years, but ironically enough for some reason just recently she came to mind, out of the blue. Maybe I was sorting thru memories of my own past and she stood out as someone who was kind and considerate, funny and yet sometimes had a dry sense of humor. She will be missed. My simpathy to her family, friends and coworkers. Keep her memory alive.

Darlene Hoover darhoo74@comcast.net

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known. (from A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens) - Eric Peiffer

God bless all of you who supported this courageous woman during these months of suffering. I read her obit on Thanksgiving day and being a survivor of this damned curse (almost 13 years) it hit me very hard. I didn't know Pam or about this site before I read the paper on Thursday, but I wish nothing but the best for you who are left with her spirit only to comfort you. I will vow to you that I will make better use of each and every day I have left on this earth. When I read the obit I called my wife into the kitchen and again thanked her for making me go to the doctor right away which probably saved my life. I guess all it takes is to read something like this to remind all of us (but especially me) how tenuous & fragile life is and that it should not be taken for granted. Thanks to her & you who cared for her for sharing her story! Harry R. Lambert

I did not know Pam or her family but just came across her obituary in today's paper (11/28/02) and discovered her website - as I read her daily journal she had such a strong and joyful spirit through everything ! I will keep her family in my prayers and lift them up to have strength and peace at this time - Pam will also be lifted up in my prayers that she rests now in the arms of Our Father

Peace to you and your family Janette Baim, Lebanon Pa

I don't usually write but I read Pam's journal as often as I could. My prayers have always been with Pam and the whole family and I hope you realize just how much love is out there for all of you. Even though we haven't seen each other for a long time my memories will live on. God bless all of you. Pat Cleary (Furlong)

My thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends of Pam. I did not know her personally, but from reading her journal, she must have been an extraordinary human being. God bless and give you strength to carry on. Nancy O'Hara

the family and friends have my deepest sympathy pam went to a better place. god bless paul heckman

I just finished reading Pam's journal , I only wish I could have followed it when she started. I found out about it by reading her obituary. I would just like to express my sympathy to her family and all her friends. She was a very strong woman. God Bless You All. Emma Ford

I just wanted to express my sincerest condolences to Pam's family. You all are in my thoughts and prayers. I especially want to thank Pam's mom for bringing Pam to the medical school reunion. It meant so much to all of us to have one last opportunity to spend time with her. We will miss her dearly and she will forever live on in our hearts and our memories. God bless all of you. Nancy Rosenblatt Markus

Found the journal by reading the obituary in the Charlotteville paper. What a trooper....the ability to monitor her own illness, knowing what the end would be. My sincere sympathy to her family. Carolyn Sandridge

In memory of Pam...we crossed paths ever so briefly, her spirit will remain an inspiration in living life to its fullest! Here is a lovely poem I came across that captures my feelings... "Perhaps God is a poet who writes with words of flesh and bones and leaf and flower. Every hour of every day, words pour out of the poet's heart, and every word is beautiful and true and worth the telling. And when each poem is perfect, and there is no more which ought to be said, the poet gently takes the words back into his heart, where they are safe forever...and then begins again." Rest in peace, Pam. Sincerely, Dee Aranza

I wish words could fully express the great sorrow that I feel concerning our loss of Pam. My memories of her extend back to high school ... some good, some not so good. Over the years, our friendship was tested many times, but it withstood all the growing pains (mine especially) along the way, and survived. I will forever be grateful for my last day with her (December 28, 2001), not knowing, at the time, that I might never see her alive again, or that she might not see another Christmas. As it turns out, I was not to see her again, eventhough we discussed going to California to play golf at Pebble Beach following her return from down-under this past February (2002). Hopefully, we will all get a chance to memorialize and/or eulogize her in some way - maybe an annual charity golf tournament (of some sort) in her honor, with proceeds going to cancer awareness and/or research. A special thank you to sister Karen (aka Kat) - thanks for setting up this web site, a web site which gave me a convenient and easy interface with which to interact with you, your family, and Pam. Because of this website, Pam and I were able to reconnect after many years of unintentional silence. Hopefully, Kat, you understand how much this web site and interaction has meant to me, as thank you just doesn't say enough. Through this web site, I was able to confront and accept her death with open (but very sad and teary) eyes, and without denial. I will never forget her, and I intend to keep a promise I made to her last year - the promise to deliberately hit at least one golf ball into the ocean from one of the ocean holes at the Pebble Beach golf links in California, in her memory. Assuming normal circumstances, I will most likely hit the ocean with more than one golf ball, intentionally and unintentionally. During our Pebble Beach discussion, Pam was kind enough to specify the type of ball she preferred - I thanked her profusely for not choosing those pink Flying Lady golf balls (they clash with my golfing attire). To the entire Brothers' family, my deepest most heartfelt condolences to you for your loss. As you have witnessed since this web site first appeared last year, I am one of many hundreds of people whose life has been and will continue to be touched by Pam. Hopefully, we will all collectively help to carry and pass her story to others the rest of our lives. - With my deepest sympathy, sincerely, Eric Peiffer.

My heart and sympathy goes out to Pam's family. She has been such an inspiration throughout this whole ordeal with her cancer fight. What a great spirit she had. I will truely miss her website. Barbara Cobb, LM

My heart goes out to all of you. Evie Miller

Pam and family: "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid." love, Julia

To Pam's family, friends and those who were priviliaged to have known Pam, Walt and I have been keeping Pam and her family in our thoughts and prayers. We feel a great person has passed into heaven with her Father. Pam will be greatly missed. Her years on earth have been short but Pam has touched many lives and hearts. Pam's love for life, courage and determination will remain with us all. When Walt and I visit Lou and Al it won't be the same without having Pam come over to see "Aunt Maureen and Uncle Walt." We send our sincere sympathy to Pam's family and friends. God be with Pam and you, "Aunt Maureen and Uncle Walt"

Pam, We first met at F&M in the fall of 1979. We shared a common interest in both The Cars and roomates. I'll always cherish the one on one time we had. I'll never forget those days at Fummer Land. I'm glad you had a chance to meet my family this summer. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I love you and you'll always be in my thoughts. -Beantown Drew.

I had not "checked in" for several weeks, but I was thinking of Pam all day today. Now I know why. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Thank the Lord she passed quietly. I share your loss. I am glad to have shared a freindship with your sister , your daughter. Katie Donahue

To all Pam's family, Having read her journal daily I felt as though I was getting to know her and her wonderful spirit. You were blessed to have had her. Margie, I think of you all the time and today my heart breaks for you and all of you who share this great loss. Marlene Brown

Pam: Just heard of your passing to the place we all wish to be someday. Praise God, for His mercy. Pam, now it's time for you to begjn praying for us poor mortals. We ask you to put in a few good words for us, when you are conversing with the "management". Frank/Joan, LM

Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart, Be all else but naught to me, save that thou art, Be thou my best thought in the day and the night, Both waking and sleeping, thy presence my light.

We are all with you on this Sunday. I know Pam's entire church is praying for an easy passage. Evie Miller

Pam, my thoughts and prayers are with you always and always. Joan Zeidman

Hey Pam, Thinking of you...love you ....be brave...God Bless... Fran and Mike Sidor

Dear Pam, You have truly been an inspiration to so many of us, we have had some fun times, especially the 70's parties!! May God bless you and your family and we will see you at the biggest party ever...Kevin and Tracey Williams.

God bless all of you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. M.O.M. and M.O.M.O.M. Frankel

We have been "silent readers" of your journal thoughout your illness and we want you to know that your sense of humor, courage, and strong will have been very inspiring! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. God Bless you all. Love, Bill & Bonnie (your parents LM neighbors)

We have been "silent readers" of your journal thoughout your illness and we want you to know that your sense of humor, courage, and strong will have been very inspiring! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. God Bless you all. Love, Bill & Bonnie (your parents LM neighbors)

pam, each time i read your journal there is a sadness that is overwhelming. you have given so much, changed so much, grown so much and loved so much. jesus is waiting for you, there to help you make that often difficult trip. place your hand in his out stretched hand and realize though many will cry it is because they will miss you . you will be in a much better place with our father. may god lift you up and make you whole--------------dj

Dear Pam, I haven't written much in your guest book, since I have been privileged to see you pretty frequently during your illness. It's hard to believe that we have known each other over 20 years...wow! It's even more difficult to believe that when I first knew you, you thought you were never going to have any friendships that lasted. How richly God has blessed you with so many wonderful friendships since then! You are loved my many, and you have been a very dear and true friend to me. I thank you for that. I thank you for being tough all these months and letting people help you when you needed it. I admire your courage and your faith. You have done much good in your time on this earth, much of it done quietly and with no recognition. "May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace." With much love and constant prayers, Lynn

Dear Pam, I'm writing to you from the Netherlands. I've been living here since July and will return to the US in a few weeks. I've been following your journal, but have never written in your guest book. I want you to know you've been in my thoughts and prayers for a long time. I think you are so brave! You give me courage. I pray for a miracle for you. I'm sending you all my love from overseas and I wish you peace. love, your cousin Melissa

Dear Pam, Thanks for letting us be a small part of your life. We miss you. We love you. Be brave;the journey may be rocky, but the destination will be wonderful. Love, Dick and Claire

Hi Pam,

We know you are in such good hands with your doctors!! And with your family around you for loving support.

Keep that wonderful smile and sense of humor - it helps heal. We remember with happiness all the fun we have had through the years at Happy Hour -you always made us laugh!

You have been so strong throughout this ugly illness of yours and you fought so hard - you won time which enabled you to do so many of the things that mattered to you during these long months. You give us all courage - we thank you for that and will remember it always. Peace be with you, Dear Pam.

Love,

Judi and Jacques Ruch Palmyra

Copyright � 2001 by Karen May. All rights reserved.
Revised: 09 May 2005 05:39:19 -0700.

Copyright � 2001 by Karen May. All rights reserved.
Revised: 09 May 2005 05:39:19 -0700.